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female
,
anonymous
writes: Should I tell my ex boyfriend, who I'm still associated with, the full details of what happened with me and some guy he knows? I met this guy at a local social event and we hit it off, he was a real gentleman, giving me his jacket because I was cold and walking me home at 10 at night. We kissed goodbye on the lips twice, but I wouldn't take it anywhere because I'm tied up with my ex. My ex gets insanely jealous when I'm with other guys, and we are good friends who fool around every now and then. He wants to be single right now, and although we're no longer in love with eachother we may get back together, we'll just see what the future brings. When I told him this guy walked me home he said that he was a bastard and I shouldn't have been with him. I don't want to keep things from him, but will it do more harm than good for him to know everything that happened? We're in a semi-exclusive situation, meaning he doesn't remember agreeing to us being exclusive possibly because he was drunk and just saying it because he was jealous of me being with other guys, and i was unaware at the time. But when this guy asked about the situation between my ex and I explained it he said 'I'd kiss you right now if it weren't for him'. Part of me wishes it happened just so I can prove to myself that there is life beyond my ex.
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (24 October 2006):
 It sounds like you need to fully move on from your ex. He sounds like a bad influence on you, and with his on-again off-again approach to you he is taking advantage of you. You'll end up getting very hurt in the end, best get out now whilst your self esteem is (mostly) intact.
Think about it for a moment: here is a man that 'wants to be single' yet 'gets insanely jealous when you're with other guys'. You realize thats messed up right? Then he uses his jealousy to justify sleeping with other women. And you put up with that? You are better than that, much better.
Get out now, and don't look back. And when your ex comes crawling back offering all sorts of apologies and 'i'll be different' stuff don't go for it. From your post its clear he's taking advantage of you, if you let him he'll do it all over again.
Sadly in life we don't get what we deserve. Instead we get what we insist on getting. If you let people take advantage of you they will. Only you and you alone can do something about that.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (24 October 2006):
 If your no longer in love with each other why is there a chance of you getting back together? surely you would both be wanting to move on from the relationship?
Maybe you both hold a habit of being committed to each other therefore he still acts the way he would on knowing you was spending time with another guy and you feeling like you've done something wrong when you clearly haven't as you are single and really should be moving on and possibly meeting someone else if thats what your ready for.
I think sometimes trying to stay friends with an ex especially without a time period apart to lay the relationship to rest leaves people acting the same way as they always did when together so really your still acting like a couple but clearly not.
I stayed friends with my ex and I couldn't move on from the relationship and nor could he even though we both knew the relationship was over anytime someone else came along on either side we felt guilty and as if we was cheating on the other person, we had to break that friendship and give each other a proper space of time to break the habit and now we hold a fantastic friendship and I don't know about him but sometimes I even forget we was anything more than the friends we are now.
Good luck :o)
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