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writes: long story short...me and the x fiance broke it off about 8 months ago..many reasons contributed to the break up..but the final thing is when i found out she was going out behind my back and i found pictures of her with another man..she denies cheating, but i could never actaully prove it..anyways, it was a bas break up..she left our house we just bought and never looked back..only really contacting me once or twice along the way to say hi..never an apology or an explanation..we talked on and off for about 2 or 3 months later..she would cry everytime i bought up what happened..she did not want to see me or try to work on anything..this months i e-mailed her some funny pics of us on vacation and she e-mailed back that although we had great memories, she was not interested in resolving past issues..she wants me in her life, but doesn't feel our "friendship" has anything to do with our past relationship? they goes on to say she is sorry she messed things up and that things didn't work out and then tells me she is crying as she is writing..what is this about..we e-mailed a few times after, i asked her to go for a coffee, but she blew me off..no response..then i wrote her like a 2 page e-mail telling her how i felt and just basically everything baout our past..no response..i without a doubt still love this person..i know it is wrongs and i know i should not be bringing up old wounds, but i just can't do it.
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reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (24 October 2006):
 I know its easy to say forget her and move on as I was told the same thing after my break-up. Its not easy when you still love someone so deeply. You do have to face the fact that she doesn't want to face what she has done. I think personally she just can't deal with the guilt of what she has done. She would rather stay broken up because she doesn't want to be an adult and own up to what she has done. For the most part, even having a friendship with her would be difficult because you have unanswered questions and there is a lack of closure. Until she owns up to her misdealings or faces the facts then you can't really do anything about it. Leave her be. If she e-mails or calls you can be cordial but brief. Leave the lines of communication open. One more bit of advice: Don't ask questions you really don't want to know the answer to. People don't understand that cheating doesn't occur because you sleep with someone or you are in a relationship. Cheating occurs when you have given your heart to another after you have promised it to someone else. It doesn't hurt because your together, it hurts because you love them, together or not. Good Luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2006): Forget her. I think it's pretty clear she doesn't want to get back with you. All those "I'm crying while writing this" is just crap. As I read your post, its 100% clear to me she doesn't want you back, so move on.
And, she cheated on you. She went out with another man behind your back! I hate the belief that it's only cheating if they had sexual relations. It's even worst because she only contacts you to say HI, not even giving an explanation of what she did! Surely if she was half decent, she would've explained everything to you.
In my opinion, the fact SHE went out with another man while in a relationship with YOU, is very much CHEATING. She cheated on you, and doesn't want you back, so move on. Forget her.
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