A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone :) Please give some advice from an outside perspective as I am stressing out!I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years (mainly emotional, some physical). It was like a cycle and everytime I tried to leave he'd cry, promise to change, threaten to kill himself..... But in the end nothing would have changed. He would also break up with me at least once a week for going to see my family, for wearing something he didn't like..... When I finally got away from him it was the most incredible feeling of relief and freedom ever. But i was also left with zero self esteem, his criticizing voice always in my head about everysingle thing I do, even the way I walk!....... Slowly slowly iv been building my self confidence back up. As usual he was desperate for another chance but Iv been strong enough. I told him to leave me alone. So here's the problem....... Although i may not have been quite ready, I started seeing someone else whos liked me a while. And it's doing me good, he's kind, respects me, listens to me..... And yes I'm falling for him,,,,,,, he's funny, we share a lot in common... Yet, I'm so scared of messing it up. I guess its an affect of constantly being put down by my ex, but every little thing has me worried he's going to lose interest. If he doesnt call me as often as usual ill just sit up all night worrying :( ....I know it's not healthy, and he doesn't seem to have picked up on it...So question 1) should I explain that my past relationship was pretty tough and that although I'm working on it I do feel slightly worried and clingy due to what I got put through?2) I haven't told the new guy that my ex was desperate for another chance, i already told him to leave me alone before I met the new guy. He was aware I'd broken up and asked me was it all over, I said yes- because it was. My ex hasn't contacted me at all. However he has told a mutal friend that he still loves me like mad. Iv again got myself into a Panic- what if it gets back to the new guy and puts him off?....... What if he thinks things are not over between me and ex?..... Should I tell him?..... Should I tell him and reassure him there are no feelings left on my side?!.... Am i just being paranoid due to my ex threatening to kill my famy for something as simple as accepting a friend request on Facebook?......I feel I should sit my new guy down and just tell him the situation,..... But am worried this is the wrong thing.... Advice please!:(
View related questions:
confidence, facebook, my ex, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (26 June 2012):
 I wouldn't say word one about the last "relationship" that you had - to this new B/F..... HE (or, SHE) has gotten me out of that past, Gawdawful, arrangement, and allowed me to meet a new B/F who is pretty good.....Don't screw things up, now, by bringing your past in to this terrific current and future!!!!!Good luck...
A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (26 June 2012):
are you sure we werent going out with the same person?? he sounds just like a horrible ex I broke up with 4 years ago, who used to criticise me for walking a certain way and for my clothes too. I wouldnt say too much about your ex unless things get more sinister like he stalks you or starts making your life more difficult. after all you dont want this bad experience to impact on your new relationship, good luck all the same and if ex starts to harass you dont hesitate in calling the police.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012): hi.....just see how your new guy reacts for other things... if he is cool then say him about your past... if he has accepted you fully and if you have confidence that he does not leave you by saying it then freely say him....else if you think your new friend is sensitive about all that don't say.... try to forget all past things happened as you were not happy with your ex ... dont say your new friend about it.. just keep going .. happy....
...............................
|
