A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this guy for about a month now and we have a mutual circle of friends. I'm majoring in computer science and most of my friends come from the same major as me, ergo they are almost all exclusively men. I've never had problems with maintaining platonic relationships with men in the past, but the other night I was with a mutual friend to my boyfriend and myself. Admittedly, we were a little high off cannabis and I started spouting nonsense about how my boyfriend is a bit more aloof than I'd like. I was really just looking for my friend to back me up. Unfortunately, he misinterpreted and tried to kiss me. I managed to push him off and I went home. I told him it was all good, not to worry about it and apologized if I had led him on. He seemed pretty embarrassed. Ultimately, I have two options here. I can go on as if nothing happened or I can tell my boyfriend about it. The first option seems easiest simply because I really don't think anything like this will happen again and I don't want a stupid mistake to hurt their friendship. The second option is only up for consideration because I feel as though if one of my female friends had come onto my boyfriend I would want to know. Is honesty worth the potential drama that could ensue or should I just keep this mishap to myself and chalk it up to weed? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, firstlovelastlove +, writes (26 February 2011):
 You should tell him because if he finds out from someone else he'll wonder why you didn't tell him. He might wonder what else you don't tell him. I would nip this in the bud. No pun intended.
A
male
reader, popeye_loves-cuspi  +, writes (26 February 2011):
Weed will always have effect close to booze, it clouds your decision making, reactions, and what you perceive to be a normal situation.. is in actual fact something wrong. The weed was a contributing factor to it. But as you have also said, a discussion on weed is not the right time or place.I am pleased he took it as he did. To him, you have shown him you hide nothing and you will always be honest with him, the friend was in the wrong. I understand your not wanting to wreck the friendship they have, but your bf did deserve to know, and all looks happy.I wish you the very best for the future and with your college studies too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I really don't want to get into a debate about marijuana. This isn't a regular occurrence anyways, which is why I mentioned it, as I wasn't sure how much is contributed to the situation. I was hoping someone with some experience with it might shed some light. However, I ended up telling him and he is completely fine with it. He thought the situation was funny; it bothered me more than it bothered him. It's not my relationship with my boyfriend I was worried about; I just don't want to mess things up for our mutual friend, who made a stupid mistake. All in all, it looks like things will just go on as they were and I will avoid seeing this friend alone.
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A
male
reader, popeye_loves-cuspi +, writes (26 February 2011):
I think your bf deserves to know, for the exact same reason you said, in wanting to know if a female friend of his tried to kiss him, if he never told you and you found out, maybe lead to you questioning what else he has under wraps... the same works on the flip side, being honest with him and telling him what happened won't harm your relationship with your bf, the only time that happens in when your lie, keep something back when you have no need, that type of thing.
Weed is illegal for a reason, if you need to use an illegal drug to 'have a good time' you maybe need to look at what you do and if it really give you that enjoyment you want, and turn to weed for.
Best of luck!
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