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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: okay so im 19. with my bf for 2 years and love him.i went away on a college holiday.all of us were talking about which teachers we fancied the most and the tecahers were there. there was a lot of us doing this just as fun because for some of the people it was the last time we would all be together so it wouldnt matter it wasnt anything serious just a big joke.becuase im in colege the teachers are only a few years older then us.basically so this tecaher new he was the top of my 'list'.anyway later in the night i got really really drunk.it was me and this teacher just together because we both went to get something from our cabbins.he took me to the back of the camp and was trying it on with me.i was soooo drunk and played along with it. teasing him but jokingly. no touching.he then started to kiss my neck and i could hardly stand up. then he started to try to put his hands up my dress. he was trying to kiss me but i wouldnt let him. i remember syaing 'i have a boyfriend' to him. it must have clicked in my head what was going on or i was sobering up a little and just snapped out of it and stopped what was happening and left.i didnt let him kiss me. nor did i kiss him.i feel so guilty for what happened! even though it didint go as far as kissing.anyway i would have told my bf the second i got home apart from the fact that....next year me my bf and this tecaher will be at college together.heres the outcome:1) i tell my bf what happened. hes either so angry / upset he dosnt go to college and quits , or finds it too hard with the situation.2)he goes to college but smacks the tecaher and gets chucked out.(he has a temper and 2 of my close male friends who i told said they would go mental at the guy becuase he must have been able to tell how drunk i was and must have been taking adavntage)3)i tell him , he forgives/leaves me and carrys on at college but it be a tough ride.some peple might think that its drastic of him not to carry on at college but he loves me so much it would tare him apart and the fact that he has to re-sit exams next year is already making him stress about the year.i can just see it ruining him.he has worked so hard at colege to get another place for next year i cant bare to make him not want to be there and wreck his future.2 weeks after i came home we went out and i tried to break up with him saying i didnt love him. to see him cry killed me to tell him that i didnt love him killed me. seeing him so distraught we sorted things. this changed everything in my head and made me feel that instead of telling him to get rid of my guilt i would not tell him and to make him as happy as he makes me. to be a perfect girl.im happy to not tell him and deal with this hatred for myself and guilt.i know i woud never let this situation ever happen again becuase its put everything into perspective and i know that i love him so much and that i would never let drink take that hold on me.1 problem.peopel realised taht me and this tecaher had left everyone for a while.no one knows what happened but the next day some people said 'ohh you and him went for a long chat' implying that something had happened.the teacher would not say a word to anyone becuase im a student he could get in trouble.their only joking but still if by bf heard anything i dont know if i could not not tell him.i feel i knw what to do .....not tell him, if he finds out then he finds out and i tell him what happened and hope he relises that i love him too much and what we have is too preciuos to be ruined by a small act that wasnt out of my choice but the actions of stupid drinking.i have promised myself that if he dosnt find out the second he finishes college then he will know the whole story.i suppose im telling you this becuase i just dont know what to do really. i feel im doing the right thing. i feel iv takin into accout what i think are the most important aspects.tell me what you would do please and what you think of all this mess!??i know the nearly cheating is disgusting and im am most deffinatly paying for what happened in my own ways. i dont need to be told this. im not so heartless for it to just be forgotten about by my mind.have you been in my situation!?please tell me what your thinking ?x
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your help !!
i know what i have done isnt right but i feel that what im doing is right for my bf.
youve helped me alot and for it being my 1st time on here this has shown how good the site is
thankyou :)X
A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (24 August 2009):
 I'm glad you made the right choice and didn't cheat on your boyfriend. It's hard to make the right choice when you are drunk. Now about telling him. This is a more tricky then normal. I always say be honest with your lover but where you think it might ruin his education or get him in trouble with the law by attacking the teacher then it wouldn't be a good idea. You could ruin his life by telling him. You could try telling him what happened but not tell him who it is. Good Luck, I hope everything turns out well for you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2009): You didn't 'nearly cheat' because HE tried it on with you, and when you were barely able to stand! Maybe you feel guilty because of what you said when you were joking with your friends, and then put into a position where something could have happened. More bad than good will come of it (for him) if you do tell him, so I think you shouldn't. You may want to have a word with your teacher though.
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