A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am 17, was sexually abused by my last boyfriend, and am in a new relationship. I am hoping that it isnt a huge surprise that the last relationship still affects me, mainly in bad ways. recently i have been having more nightmares, some involving me cheating on my current boyfriend, most involving the abusive ex. I got into a "walk down memory lane" about what happened to me, and i cut up my leg. Current boyfriend said if i ever did that again he would force me into hospital, should i tell him or keep it secret? stupid question yes, but any advice on anything here would be helpful, i know he hates that i get like that, sad enough to hurt myself, and I hate telling him when it happens when he isnt around to see that i was sad, or that i am alright now. Any advice would greatly help me/us get past my past. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys, but i dont really feel strong or brave or anything.. the relationship i have with this guy started before i even realised what it was that had been happening to me over the last year with the ex. i knew something didnt feel right with him, but i didnt know what it was, and he wouldnt talk about it without saying i was just afraid to take the next step in the relationship with him. I have told my current boyfriend what happened, he helped me understand it for what it was. He is also one of the most supportive people I know, he wasnt angry with me, he was worried and scared. I hope I am there for him like he is for me, Lord knows i have needed it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2012): Hi! You have had horrible experiences in the past, and i understand that trusting someone again, especially with something that is so raw and obviously still affecting you will be hard, but if you feel you can trust him enough and that he himself will be able to deal with it then yes, i think you should definately tell him! Relationships are about trust and if he doesnt know this, he may think that you dont trust him enough to tell him! I dont mean to tell him right now, whenever you are ready and feel the time is right. Im sorry you cut yourself, i understand ive been there myself and i understand what your going through, but talk to someone about this and they will help you! Good luck and i hope everything works out xxxx
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (30 January 2012):
 Hi,
First of all, I am really sorry that you had such a horrific experience in such a young age. If life wasn't hard enough to go through as it's, I just have to say that you are a very strong and brave person. Another thing I want to bring it up is that your question is not stupid. You've been through something that no human being should experience, and I just want you to know that is ok to feel sad, hurt, shock and traumatized by the experience. It's going to take time to heal, but I promise you that it will get better, specially because you are so sweet and so strong. Promise me that you will never cut yourself again... Your boyfriend do love you and do care for you that's why be made such a comment. Answering your question, I think that if you feel comfortable enough and trust your boyfriend you should tell him. Doing so, will bring you both closer together and he will understand why you are behaving this way. Also, by you sharing your secret will help you heal and make you feel better. When you have a problem in your life, whatever the problem is, the best way is to talk to someone you trust. What happened to you is nothing to be ashamed and it's not your fault. You never deserve to be treated this way, and I believe in God... I know you will get better and I am sure you will be stronger and have a happy, successful, normal life... Remember, you are not alone... :)
Best wishes/good luck!
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