A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have developed a great friendship with this girl, that has gotten to the point of awkwardness every now and then [which for some reason feels right]. However she is going out with my best friend and he and I are truly best friends and she is another of my best friends. I am afraid if I tell her out right I could lose both of them. I do not want him to think I'm trying to steal her from him and it's not like they are engaged but I still fear what might happen if I tell her but I know I have real feelings for her and I know its his first relationship and I'm not sure his feelings are guninue but if they are I don't want to interfere. So, I guess my question is Should I tell her how I fell and hope she returns those feelings or am I simply too late?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008): well, i just got out of my first serious relationship of 3 years. we have 2 children together. and i found out last week that for the past 6 months my girl was sleeping with my "best friend" and it is seriously the worst feeling i've ever had. don't make your friend go through that shit. no matter how much you like this girl.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2008): Thank you all for your help, as hard as it may be I won't say a word to her about it and we shall at least remain friends unless they break up {that is with no interference from me}. I am good at keeping my mouth shut so that's what I'll do. If they break up and its not one of those break up make up deals. I'll tell her then, if not then I hope she has a great life and I'll go on with mine. Again thanks for your help, sometimes its hard to think straight as I know love is blind. {well true love is anyway}. Anyway Thanks again.
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A
female
reader, anon642  +, writes (2 November 2008):
 I think its great that you can get on with your best mates girlfriend, many people have trouble with this or don't get much of an opportunity to get to talk to them.However, you've developed feelings and in all honesty, no i wouldn't tell her. There are a number of outcomes, and all of them boil down to at least one person getting hurt, which you say that you and your mate are truly best friends, so i think you should put that before anything else really.At this point in time, you've got your best mate, and you've made another friend from his relationship, but keep it at that..a friend. Respect your best friend and don't tell her you like her. If you do, you lose them both or seriously damage what you say is a great friendship.All the best :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2008): Don't even think about it. Clear your head, don't stuff up the best thing in your best mate's life at the moment. I think it's natural for a guy to want a girl a little more if she's in a relationship, it's just your instincts trying to tell you to win this girl for yourself because we are hard-coded to want to spread our seed and prevent other guys from doing so. I know that got a bit too far into it, but you know what I'm saying. These days, you can't just lock horns with another guy to win the girl, and if he's your best mate you shouldn't even consider that for a second. There are plenty of other chicks out there and it's really not worth embarrassing yourself by telling this girl how you feel (I am almost certain she'd reject you if she's happy with the other fella) then fall out with your friend because you tried to steal (or worse, DID steal) his girlfriend. No offence, but it would be an absolutely despicable act and I'd happily join him in dropping you if you made a move. It's sometimes hard, but not impossible to just be friends with a girl...even at our age ;-)
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