A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Two years ago I met a guy on holiday and slept with him. I was with my friends and he was with his girlfriend. Yes thats right people, his girlfriend! He befriended me and my group of friends and flirted with me from the start. Then one night, all my friends went out and I was tired so I stayed behind. He came to my hotel room and we had sex. We were both sober. He then left and I knew he felt guilty about his girlfriend. He didnt speak to me after that. Fast forward 2 years and he adds me on facebook. I look at his page and see that he is now engaged to that woman. He then starts messaging me and we swap numbers, although I know its totally wrong, and we start to text each other extremely dirty stuff like pics and messages. He tells me he wants to meet up for sex and that he cant help himself hes engaged but wants to see me and have sex. Im shocked by this especially when he says that I wasnt the first or the last of women he had cheated on his fiance with. I stop messaging him, but when I look on his facebook page I see messages from his fiance about how shes been lookin at wedding dresses and how much she loves him. I feel sorry for her. I feel like telling her. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2012): I would block him and delete his number and change yours. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN A SHAG WHEN HE WANTS IT!
Also DO NOT email/tell her (I have been in a similar situation, though I did NOT know he had a girlfriend, I did tell her, and paid a high price for it...(car vandalism, tried to get me sacked, stalking me, coming into my place of work gobbing off etc, not pleasant AND she told me it was the 4th time he had done it, I was like wtf? Why are you still with him, I don't want someone like that! Lol) He seemed to get off scott free, she still occasionally stalks me now, and this happened like 16 years ago!!
Wake up and smell the coffee!!! Do the right thing, leave him to it, and be glad you are NOT the one marrying a liar, and a cheating scumbag!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2012): yes tell her but only if your motives are right.
One question: WHEN u tell her and he is free cheating bird will you start "something" AGAIN with him?
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2012): Mistakes have obviously been made, but morally (what's best for not only her but you as well) is to calmly message her and tell her what's going on behind her back. Tell her your sorry for your discretion, but if it was you, you'd want to know. Its wrong to just ignore it. Learn from your mistake, own up to it, and move on.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 January 2012):
 I think you have to be very honest with yourself about your motivations for ratting him out.
If you 'd really want to do it out of female solidariety- even if she is a stranger, you can't stand seeing another woman being duped and deceived so grossly , and you want to save her from marrying a serial cheater- it would be perhaps a noble endeavour. But somehow ,don't ask me why, I doubt all this comes from a nice 70s style sense of female sorority.
Maybe you think that she'll break up with him so he'll be free and available to you. Naaah..., it's not gonna happen. Girls you date seriously, and girls you swap dirty pics with, travel on two different , parallel tracks .
Or it's a " if he can't be mine, then he won't belong to anybody " kind of thing. Very morally questionable , and very unproductive for your happiness and peace of mind. Why did you get stuck on this silly tryst for two years ?
You made a bad choice, a few bad choices .
Now it's time to make different choices, block the guy , and move on.
Btw : if you are so shocked that an engaged guy may want to cheat on his fiancee,- why did you accept to become his accomplice by swapping dirty texts and pics when you already knew he was engaged ? That' s already cheating, and you actively partecipated in that, so your behaviour is shocking too. Why aren't you shocked about YOUR part in all this ?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (19 January 2012):
 Block him and move on. She may know he's a ladies man already, and all it will demonstrate to her is that you deliberately slept with a guy who had a girlfriend. It says as much about you as about him, and as she's in love with him, she'll just blame you. He'll probably tell her he was drunk and you threw yourself at him or some such nonsense. The point is that your message likely won't be welcomed or even heard by her.
You participated in the sexy texts and pic swaps, so you KNOW what this guy is like. You could simply post on his wall, "thanks for the sexy pics, but I think I'm done with this. I'm going to pass on the offer for sex too. Good luck with your marriage." Of course, this will be explained away by him as a jealous ex or something like that.
Just block him, hit delete and forget him. She'll have to learn the hard way. Chances are she already knows something, he's probably brought home an STD or two. Guys like that generally have things going on in that department.
Obviously, you aren't going to sleep with an attached guy again, right?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2012): I think you should block him from your page and get a life!!!
you first admit that you knew he was with this girl, yet you still went ahead and slept with him (sober) regardless.. then you admit he adds you on FB and you start texting eachother and sending dirty pictures.. it seems to me that now you realise he will never leave her, and she is happy and looking forward to her wedding, you NOW want to ruin it for her. It takes two to tango, and you were doing pretty well with the tango untill you see his page with his fiance talking about the wedding dress.Who is to say she dont already know what he is like, but chooses to ignore it? and what gives you the right to now want to tell all your dirty little secrets? I think you should learn from this and move on. ( just find a man who dont belong to someone else already) I find it so frustrating when women like yourself dont mind playing the feild, with other womens men, but when your not the center of attention you go shoot off your mouth like your the one who's hard done by.) if you kept your legs shut in the first place you wouldn't be asking for this advice now would you........
stop acting the victim, the only women I feel sorry for is his fiance, but that is for her to find out in her own way, not to be made to feel stupid by the one who is sleeping with him in the first place.
did you stop to think about her when you were sending your texts? or shagging her fiancee? no you didn't. truth hurts dont it??? so think about that before you decide to ruin someones life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2012): yes, tell her, it will hurt her, but she needs to know this before she marries him. I'm not sure why you're shocked by this? you already cheated with him and you're sexting him now.
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A
female
reader, Phunky  +, writes (18 January 2012):
 if it we're for me... i'd tell her because if i was in her posistion (sorry for my english) I'd love to know it will hurt me YES but i dont want to find out after i get married and he contonious cheating on me
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