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Should I tell him what's on my mind?

Tagged as: Crushes<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 November 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 November 2012)
A female Lebanon age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hi everyone.i'm facing a relationship crises.i'm deeply in love with this guy for about one and a half year, he's my college, and since 5 monthes he uncovered that he loved me too and since then we've been dating.the intensity of love led us to do "it" several times and the best part was that he never changed with me and he remained always the gentle man and romatic lover i know.

the problems began when i became a woman becuase of him.he still say he loves me and that he misses me, he still calls me daily and all that stuff, but the problem is that i feel no love and no care,where its like if i don't text him he wouldn't remember me.knowing that we had a previous dissicion on getting married and he even meeted my parts and talked on the subject.

my fear is that he have nothing else to do with me and he is thinking about leaving,yet every one who knows us says that its becuase of stress for he have been promoted, yet he have been in the mood that he will get it and he never complianed of its extra work.please help,should i tell him whats on my mind?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

oh..and yes we use birth control...but only when we do it during my fertility and ovulation periods...you said that we are young, but you must know from where i come from, girls in my age are married by now with 2 if not three children, i'm concedered retarded for waiting for him and not marrying one of the many guys who have previously proposed to me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

dear Jynxter i can't thank you enough for the re-leafing answer, as blaming me as it is, it really helped especially that it came from a man's point of view, just to make my self clear,the idea of meeting my parents is his idea and he did before we did "it" in a long time, also he was the one who wants to get married even before i want, he is not financially stable but he say that he wants to spend every moment with me and thats why he's working too hard.

As perfect as he seems, or actually as perfect as his words are, i caught him chating with one of his exes, she is married now and her troubles with her husband got her out of his life and into my mans life. she was the one who contacted him first by a fake name, then she admited it was a prank and now he's constantly chating with her. from three days i read his chats infront of him, his reaction was hitting on his head! my reaction was deleting all my photos from his cellphone and our chats too. and tell now i'm not taking any of his calls and i've blocked him on whats app. Anyways i want to know if i should leave him for real or just fake it as i am doing now, i really truelly love him and i can't imajine my life without him, but the picture of him saying "my love" to any one else kills me, especially that she is a colligue and we meet like every day the three of us, i act as if i don't know who is she, and he thinks i don't know too.

Jynxter.... whenever i give him the space he use it to cheat on me...this is the third time now, all the same story, exes come crying to him and he just feels sorry and give love.

please help

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A male reader, Jynxter United States +, writes (13 November 2012):

Jynxter agony auntI’m not sure I follow all the ‘facts’ you have presented here, but I do get the general drift behind you question. I think you are wondering if you really loves you… or did he just say all the right things and act like a romantic knight in shinning armor of your dreams just to get you into bed with him.

I understand your fear that he may move on now that he has carved another notch into his belt. You won’t be the first or last one to suffer from the anxiety that can cause. But understand, you are both young and probably too inexperienced to even contemplate a life together at such a young age. Is this a crisis? I suppose it depends on you is asking… and why?

To him, it certainly isn’t. I am assuming he hasn’t created any drama… one way or another… since you started doing ‘it’. Why should he… he’s getting the milk for free and doesn’t have to buy the cow. Why cause or react to drama when he sees none. But calling you daily and fulfilling your needs for regular affirmation they he still loves you seems a little smothering to me. Do you think that perhaps you expectations for texts and calls is causing him some second thoughts? As a guy.. I know I need some space every now and then and dealing with a needy person is not high on my list of desired friends… and least of all lovers.

As for the marriage discussions… and meeting your parents… who’s idea what that? I don’t know too many guys in that age group that are ready to settle down so early in life… especially when they are trying to make a career (he was promoted… right?) so that he can one day support a family. You acknowledged that he has a lot of extra work… but you somehow expect him to have the same amount of time for you as he did in the past. Is this reasonable? There are only so many hours in the day… and added responsibilities and pressures are the last thing he needs. Give him some space… and see what happens next. Just consider yourself lucky you aren’t pregnant. (You are using some form of birth control… right?)

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