Should I tell him what I feel about him or should I just forget everything?

A female age 36-40, *heeseburgercheeseburger writes:

2 years ago, I broke up with someone..Well we actually weren't official lovers but we date and talk often and are intimate. You know, that part in a relationship that is complicated and you're somewhere between going up the next level or remaining as special friends. We've been like that for years, somehow we are content with that. But when we went to college, we had to go our separate ways. It wasnt hard though, we still communicate a lot and we even got closer than ever. Then came a time when we both started to lose interest and got too busy with school. The next time we talked, we fought over the phone.I couldnt even remember how it started, I was only sure it didn't end well. I told him really wicked things like I didn't want to see him again and There has never been anything between us and we don't stand a chance of being actually together. After that we never talked again...well, for a long time. Weeks later, right after the hell exam weeks I learned that hes got a girlfriend already. That was my first heartbreak and I never imagined it to be that painful. We were never lovers so I didnt feel i have the right to feel that way. Anyway, I did my best to forget him. I started dating another guy, who eventually became my boyfriend. I successfully got over the trauma of my past relationship. However the new one proved to be nothing less traumatic. Our relationship soon became pretty much devastating to me and my academics. We always get into fights and most of the time i spent hating myself for being stuck with a guy like him. It was hard to set things right with him, however eventually I managed to get used to everything and right now were doing just fine, despite everything that got devastated along the way. And then one day, news got to me that my past broke up with her girlfriend. My friends told me they always fought and the girl always blamed him for being "still not over with me". Truly, during those 2 years weve been apart he kept on texting me, confessing again and again that he never meant us to separate. I was too stubborn then and never believed anything he said.I just kept on encouraging him to move on. Somehow it still hurts me whenever i remember those better days, but I never took them to heart. Then came the holidays and I went home to our town to be with my family, and I met up with him.Actually, he asked for the meet up. It was our first meeting in about 2 years. It was weird and awkward. It was painful. And it should not be so!! I thought I was completely over him. But everytime I see him, I regret the decisions I made. I have a boyfriend whom I loved and even went to all sorts of trouble with, and now here's my past who turned everything into turmoil. His dedication is just so painful that I kept on wishing that I should have never fought with him in the first place. I would rather erase all memories with my boyfriend so I could star over with that discontinued part of my past. But everything's too late now. I don't want to hurt any of them. What am I supposed to do? Now we're going back to school and had to go our separate ways again. Should I tell him what I feel about him or should I just forget everything?

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A male reader, NITRAM BLUE  +, writes (3 January 2009):

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A male reader, NITRAM BLUE  +, writes (3 January 2009):

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A female reader, loveuxoxo  +, writes (2 January 2009):

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