A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi, my bf and myself are in our mid forties, and been together for just over a year. I am very attracted to my bf and i can honestly say that this is the first man i've been with that i really don't want anyone else and never look at another man! (i was married for 20 yrs and never felt like this about my ex hubby).My bf has never been married or had children but has had many gf's although since being 30 he's been in stable long term relationships which haven't worked out for various reasons.He's always been very active sexually and has no problems, yet he will only sleep round my house once a week and we dont always have sex on that night, he wouldnt consider going to bed any other time because of my son living with me.He's been open about watching porn for his needs and i don't mind about it cos it serves its purpose. However, he signed up to a swingers site as a couple 3 months ago which he thought we might dabble in as he has a particular fantasy. I haven't taken an interest and he doesnt mention it now. But, i noticed he was frequently going onto that site to open the emails sent to our joint account on there. So out of interest i joined up on my own 5 weeks ago to see how often he's on there and i found he's on there several times a day but only for a few minutes it seems. I never interact with anyone and wouldnt want to and i don't think he does either but i'm concerned that he's popping onto that site several times a day but he's happy with our lack of sex together which is probably twice a month if i'm lucky!Should i tell him i've been watching his activity or not? I'd like more sex and its making me abit paranoid about our relationship that he's popping on these sites while i'm almost forgetting what its like!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 October 2011):
 If it's SLS (swinglifestyle) it's a very nice site and folks have made friends there. signing up as a couple is a good way to get more attention than signing up as a single male....
As a fantasy it's fine.
Personally I'd let him know you know about it and maybe you two can do it as a couple...
also let him know you are receptive to more sexual activity
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (19 October 2011):
 Since you are already understanding he has needs that are met by porn, no I would not mention it. It might just be a fantasty exploration.I agree with the other poster. SHOW him you want more sex. Just take more initiative.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 October 2011):
 It's his fantasy, so maybe he is having a "hard" time letting totally go of it for now? I don't think it means that he will actually act on it. But... I would bring it up. I would also bring up that you "want" more sex, though instead of telling him, I'd "show" him.
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