A
female
age
26-29,
*estructive
writes:Just recently I was informed that my brother is getting married.Im extaticly proud for him but something is nagging at me.in the past i never really saw my brother because we had differnet moms and his mom and my dad are divorced.sometime after in his early 20s he joined the army and is still serving.but what he does not know is that i hate him.well i dont hate hate him its just i never see him and i understand that but.he never calls.i found his myspace.he wudnt add me.i text him.he never replies.then i go to his house and see him when hes on breake then he leaves.i feel pushed away and forgotten and .he told me that he doesnot want me at his wedding but my dad is making me go.my dad wants me to tell him how i really feel but i just dont know how to word it so im asking you.should i tell him how i feel and try and fix things or should i just let it be.im affraid ive never hugged my brother or told him i love him nothing i feel like a stranger with him but i dont know why its odd.so please helpshould i tell him how i feel?orjust let it be?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009): Happy to hear of the success :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): awww well thats a start good luck!!!! hope everything does turn out great for u guys!!!
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A
female
reader, Destructive +, writes (21 April 2009):
Destructive is verified as being by the original poster of the question okay everyone thanx for the feedback on this problem these were my exact words"sometimes you make me feel like im worth nothing and that you dont even care about me and i can barely stand you let alone be in the same room as you.......but your my brother and.....i love you i may not get you and i can never talk to you and you never want to see me but thats ok and i know why you dont want to get close to me because if you die over in iraq then i wont feel as bad but your wrong ill feel terible ur my brother and i cant stand not seeing you"him and my soon to be sister in law are moving to the same town as me and im going to spend 2 weeks in california alone with my brother this summer
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A
female
reader, Destructive +, writes (27 March 2009):
Destructive is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for the help i have recieved i hope that i am willing to stand up to him and tell him everything even if he doesnot want to listen and as for me=y dad i have called him and told him that he needs to stop treating my brother likes hes soo awsome and look at me for once...my dad had no idea how old i was and that says alot so now all that is left is my brother i dont know how it is going to turn out but i hope it goes well my dad says that he think that because there is such a large age difference that my brother might think that i am not interseted in what he has to say.wich i am if he would jus talk to me about things then maybe i would listen but thank you aain for the help. :)
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (27 March 2009):
 I do think you should sit down and talk with your brother with your dad present, and tell him exactly what you told us.
Is it a safe guess that he might have jealousy issues because you were part of your dad's "new family"?
I think he is wrongly punishing you for your dad remarrying, and you have every right to tell him so.
And your dad should really be having this talk with him, not you. You did nothing wrong. Tell your dad to stick up for you, or let the subject go. I wouldn't bring this up at his wedding though, it just isn't the appropriate time and your dad should know better.
Lay down the line for both of them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): yes i deff think you should!! his is your brother and u never know ..one day u mayb think what if?? you never know what can happen in the future..it is a little hard for army men to be sentitive trust me i have alot very close family members that are in the army and my own dad was in the military and his attitude is completley different from dads i know ...so yes go ahead sit down wit him or text him if u dont want to face him bcuz ur afraid of rejection..but make sure u tell him excatly how u feel, that way he will see ur point of view...no matter at the end your will know that u have tried everything and u wont feel like u didnt attempt talking to him ..but dont ever stop loving him he is ur blood and family will always b family, i know somewhere deep in his heart he knows he loves n cares for u..goodluck!! i really hope u do talk to him let us know how everything went.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (27 March 2009):
I really don't see how going up to him on his wedding day and saying words along he lines of "It was a beautiful service, by the way you treat me like crap and I don't know why and I hate you" would possibly achieve.
If you dad wants you to somehow make friends with him then your dad should be the one talking to your brother about it.
He's pushed you away and he's made his feelings clear when ever you have reached out to him. Why put yourself on the line for further rejection?
Just go along, sit quietly, and eat some cake.
If your dad wants to play happy families then let him.
You can't force your brother to have a relationship with you if he doesn't want to. You don't need him in your life, so leave him to it.
Good Luck!! xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): I'd imagine saying how you really feel is quite hard, I know if I was him it would be.
I'd say tell him how you feel and accept the outcome good or bad.
I'm sure he feels a certain way as well. If he does tell you how he feels maybe you two can work something out. The way he's acting though I wouldn't be surprised if he rejects you right away. But good luck, just remember the worst thing to do is nothing, so go and tell him.
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male
reader, Lohan181 +, writes (27 March 2009):
 Tell away, he IS your brother, and as a new army recruit, having gone through basic and his follow through school, he should appreciate your honesty, if not be pleased with it.
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