A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so here's my dilemma. I'm a seventeen year old girl, but I turn 18 in about a month, by the way, and I take private music lessons. The problem is, I really like my teacher, and I would like to have a relationship with him... he's an adult, but not super old, and he's not a teacher at my school, I just pay him for private lessons. I don't know if he's ever thought about me that way, but lately I've been flirting with him a little bit, and I think he enjoys it. I just need some advice on how and if I should take a step towards more of a relationship with him... any ideas?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): (I forgot my login, lol!! But I asked the question.)
Thanks for the advice everyone!! And just for added information, I'm going off to college in the fall at the other end of the state, so I don't think we will see each other much after this summer... if that changes the situation at all. I will probably come back to visit though.
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (27 March 2009):
 Hi,
It's a good thing I found this because I'm a musician (guitar player) and I'd like to offer my perspective. I'm not telling you what to do, but you may not have thought about this.
If you are over 18, and you really love this man, then by all means follow your heart. This is just my perspective:
I am really perfectionistic about music, and I would never get involved with someone who plays in the same band that I do (or teaches me) because it would interfere with the dynamics of the music. If I can't focus on the music and I'm distracted, it complicates things.
Don't get me wrong, I think it would be wonderful to have a boyfriend who understands my love for the guitar, and if he plays the guitar, then that's great. If he's much better than me, I tend to get jealous. This isn't a good thing, but I'm not proud. :)
I'm not sure if you're just playing music for a hobby (not hing wrong with that!) or if you're contemplating a career in music but I think that if the latter is true, then getting involved with this guy can complicate your music. Sure I like guys, but when I'm playing music, I get so focused that everything else takes a backseat.
When all's said and done, you have to make this decision for yourself. :)
Gotta go practice.
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A
female
reader, r4nd0menough2luvu +, writes (27 March 2009):
 Well first off. Love isn't about age thats my opinion. Also make sure he dosent have a gf. So you can know more about him. Just don't really flirt like going all over him. Im not sure if he will have feelings for you but hey its worth a try. Theres only 1 life time take chances =D
ps: gL~
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (27 March 2009):
 Probably not the best idea to put your feelings out there right away, even if you are 18. In his mind you are still in HS.
Not saying it shouldn't happen, but unless you know that he is interested, has no GF, and wouldn't get in trouble at work, then I wouldn't really risk it.
You could invite him to a graduation party if your parents are having one for you. Maybe that would allow you to get a better read on him outside of your lessons.
In all though, I think it might be best to let this sleeping dog lie.
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