A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I once went out with a guy for one year and six months. Then we broke up because of a big argument we had. We had many arguments before - but we had got past them. After a month of trying to get him back I gave up and I have had five other boyfriends since. But every time I'm with them all I think about is my ex. I still love him and really need him. We're good friends now, but I really want him back. I need him, I miss him. It’s been nine months without him. I’m really depressed lately too. I didn’t even realise I was that depressed till a few friends told me. All my friends just tell me to ask him our or tell him how I feel. But I just don't know how or if I should. I'm scared to death.Please have you got any advice for me?Thank you
View related questions:
broke up, depressed, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, JonHD +, writes (27 October 2007):
 I believe it would be a good idea to tell him, i recall once i broke up with an old girlfriend and it wasnt until after i relised just how much i did care for her but ofcourse like you i wasnt sure if telling her i still cared for her would be a good idea, when i finally did she said she liked me too but she was happy with her new boyfriend and i cant help but wonder sometimes how would things have gone if i told her sooner.
From a guy point of view telling him will have no harm on your current relationship with him as friends, if anything regardless of his answer you both will become closer just becuase of the fact you told him. If he his still good friends with you that tends to be a sign he still cares for you too, guys tend not to talk to old girlfriends as much unless they still have some feelings for her, it would be safe to assume he still likes you too.
Dont lose that chance to tell him, it can make you regret it for a very long time. Ofcourse i am not saying it will be easy but if you care for this boy as much as i think you do its a risk worth taking no?
If you want to do it without being too obvious ofcourse then i would suggest maybe just asking if he would like to go see a movie sometime, very cliche i know but a tactic that works very well, if he agree's then he still likes you, if he says he isnt sure or no then that might not mean he dousnt like but maybe unsure what your implying by asking him out, if thats the case ware him into the question gradually, if you dont make the first move, he would but its always a good idea to take it into your own hands since his proberly thinking the same thing as you, wheither or not you like him still and he could be intimidated from making a move worrying its not what you want.
Take care
Jon
A
female
reader, tulipdame  +, writes (27 October 2007):
You should definitely tell him. In fact, I advice people to always be honest with friends of the opposite sex about their true feelings for them. It's only fair - to him and to you. His decision doesn't define your happiness though - remember that, but it is always better to know what you are dealing with. That said - he'll probably say no. You know that probably, which is why you want to keep deluding yourself. Men almost never enter relationships that are about them - they always want the relationship to be about the woman. It's an old cliche that says they have to pursue us. I used to fall in love with men, but it never worked. You really have to remain neutral and weigh things out in order to establish a solid relationship, that's why I believe nature made us more rational and them more impulsive.
...............................
|
