A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I had a summer job whilst studying at uni and towards the end of my time there, I met a man who I really fancied. He’d talk to me online fairly regularly and we had a work party where he told me he wanted me. When I moved back to university, he kept in contact and the messages were always flirty (but by nature, he is a massive flirt with all women) and he’d say that when I was home, we could meet for a drink and he even invited me over to his for New Year’s Eve. This man is ten years older than me and he’d since been made manager, so if I returned to work, he’d be my boss. I expressed my concerns but he continued the conversations. We didn’t meet that Christmas but then he kept in contact with me when I returned to uni, still talking for hours. When I returned to work in April, he didn’t say anything suggestive to me and the conversations stopped. I was a bit confused but was ok with this as I was concentrating on my finals and didn’t need the distraction. In July, we were all out for a birthday and when we were alone, he kissed me and asked me back to his but I was driving others home so didn’t. But I was never mentioned, not online or in person. Soon after, one of the other girls at work, who is a 4 years younger than I am was telling me about the suggestive comments he’d been making to her online. I felt sick. He said he was only joking with her but this girl’s under 18 and he’s 32. I wondered if he’d been joking with me but he’d kissed me and told me he wanted me. He then got a girlfriend and I was jealous and I’d get angry with him, which was bad as he was my boss so by the end of the summer, I quit my job. When I quit, he said that he was sure our paths would cross again but I wasn’t convinced. Just before Christmas, I was out for drinks where he lives so I invited him along (he was no longer with his girlfriend). He declined as he had to be up early and yet spent the night texting me anyway. I heard nothing from him so had decided enough was enough. Last week, I commented on something he’d put online and he started talking to me, for 3.5 hours and it was flirtier than ever and I fell for him again. When I start a conversation, it never seems to last very long as he will disappear offline, like it has to be on his terms. Is it all one big joke and all talk that I’ve fallen for? What was the point in him flirting online with me for a year and a half in total now if he doesn’t want anything? As far as I know, he’s single, as am I. Should I tell him explicitly that I do want him or distance myself from him?
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at work, christmas, flirt, jealous, my boss, text, university Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. I think I know this really but just need someone else to tell me!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2011): Nah, he's just not interested so I wouldn't tell him anything. Find a guy who likes you and wants to see you b/c many guys have alot of girls online they just flirt with and don't want it to go anywhere, just get the attention.
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