A
female
age
30-35,
*nchantedFantasy
writes:Hi everyone :)So this may be a long post, for which I apologise in advance.Ok well it was late 2008 that I first met the absolute love of my young life, I shall call her L. The problem being that I was a year 9/10 student and she was my 30 something psychology teacher/ rival head of house. I had know I was gay for a long time so that wasn't an issue, it was just the serious infatuation/love that I had for this woman. I was completely absorbed by everything that was her but she barely acknowledged my existence in fact she was so cold and cynical that those who weren't trying to peek down her shirt (which was quite difficult given that she was very tall) were talking about how bitchy and tight she was. In fact, I got in physical fight with one of the guys at the school when he started talking about her 'tight ass' in both a physical and metaphorical sense.So to cut a long story short, I sent her flowers and slipped shakespearean sonnets into her office, anonymously of course. Until one day earlier this year, Im currently almost finished year 11 and about to turn 18, I decided that I just couldn't continue in this way and as hard as it was, I left the school.It took months to even hear her name (which was unfortunately quite common) and not either burst into tears or start punching things but I now feel like I am finally being released from her chains. However, I am now faced with a new problem. I think that subconsciously, as I was trying to get over L, I was looking for something to replace her. Well I found it, this time in the form of an equally austere female teacher, E.Now the feelings are defiantly not the same as they were with L, think I have matured since then and they are not quite as obsessive. However, I would be able to just 'suck it up' it I was not quite so disturbed by my current emotions. E is at least 4 decades older then me, she graduated uni in '72 and I will be graduating HS in 2011. Plus I am almost certain that she is herself lesbian and currently in a long term relationship.So my question is (finally), should I tell E about my attraction to her, wait until graduation, or not tell her at all? and does this new attraction mean my love for L is any more diminished?Thank you to those who bothered to read all of this :) and I can't wait to read your responses.K
View related questions:
flowers, lesbian, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Drat001  +, writes (5 January 2011):
Hrdrh is right. If you're punching things when you hear her name, you may need some help learning to control your emotions. It would NOT be cool if you had a girlfriend in the future and started becoming physical with her when emotions run high.
A
female
reader, Hrdrh  +, writes (23 September 2010):
 There is a problem that lies within the bosom of your heart but you are yet to discover it. try calm yourself and your emotions, take a deep breath and move down to the bosom of your heart, searching for what is really wrong with you. After overcoming it, you will now answer those question of yours by yourself. in the mean time, try H as a friend and see where it leads you to before coming out straight.
cares
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 September 2010):
 Hi i dont think you should tell mrs E your feelings at all. We all go through these crushes when we are at school and we believe that we are in love, but believe me in another few years you will look back and realise that it was simply a crush, at your age we as a society look up to our teachers and this develops in to crushes. You will only feel more hurt if you tell how you feel to this teacher as she cant act on this as she has a standard to keep up with and its illegal as you are her student. If this continues to eat you up maybe you could turn to a parent or another older adult for a chat and advice. Best of luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): Yeah... not so healthy to be letting your infatuations guide you here.
Teachers will get so much crap for this and you know it, or else you wouldn't be here.
But logic aside, no... it doesn't mean your attraction to the previous teacher is diminished. Nothing can take feelings of first love away. And nothing like it will appear again.
You'll have other great loves. Some will even surpass your fist in intensity and meaning. But the first will always have a place within your heart that no other can touch.
We all have it.
Flynn 24
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): hi, just read youre post. Well ok, basing this on my own experiences here, just before i left school, i had a crush on my english teacher, i was 16 he was mid thirties possibly older. I didnt make it known to him my feelings, but i found that if anyone critised him or played up in the class id be defending him, which screamed out that i fancied him. When i left school, i kept finding excuses to go back to the school to see him, and would occasionally find the odd english text book that i thought i could use as an excuse to drop off to him and see him, but this got me no where. It took me some time to move on from this infatuation, i think alot of people of school age have these infatuations but some dont make it apparent.I will say you seem to have this desire for a more mature person in your life? nothing wrong in that, its just that they always seem to be your teacher or lecturer, which is a bit of prob!!! It does seem that you are having feelings for someone in the same kind of circumstances, like a rebound thing really, like you need this maturity in your life which is good. I say dont tell this 'E' that you have feelings for her, definatly no. im saying this so you dont get hurt. Maybe sit down and think why you are having these crushes with your lecturers. To be honest although im 40 now, iv always gone for older men! and my partner is abit older than me, so this is something that has remained with me. I proberbly havent helped much.
...............................
|
