A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my girl for 6 months now, and I'm totally in love with her. Things are really great between us, but I'm moving away in a few months for a year +. Would it be wrong to ask her to wait for me until I got back, I should I let her go so she can be with other people? Also, I'm not sure when to tell her. Should I tell her now, so there's a few months for her to get to terms with it, or tell her closer to the date? She is only 16 but she's very mature and old headed, but there's still a chance she could take things badly.. if so, any advice as what to do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lil_mizz_cute07 +, writes (21 January 2008):
If you genuienly love and care about her I'd personally tell her now, at least that way it has more time to sink in, you can enjoy the time you 2 have left b4 you go, and she has plenty of time to decide where your realtionship goes from here.
If you leave telling her until just before you go, she's going to feel hurt that you were making these plans and not be truthfull with her about your future.
Depending on how strong the relationship is, you may both decide to have some time out while your away, meet other people and see how you feel when you get back or you may simply decide that you'll try for a log distance relationship which in truth could break the whole relationship all-together.
I really think you two need to sit down and have a long hard discussion about what you both want both in the short and long term. People change as they grow-up and experience different life experiences, remember that could be the situation when you go, both of you could be totally different people a year or so down the line than what you were before.
be honest and open her and i'm sure she'll be thankful for that and if she as you said is pretty mature and level-headed then I think things will be ok.
Goodluck, let me know how it goes. :)
A
male
reader, xylplxym  +, writes (21 January 2008):
In all actuality you should have told her you were planing on leaving as soon as you realized that you were planing on leaving. You really should have been working on communication during those 6 months.
But since you didn't, you really need to tell her well in advance of the date of your departure. She really won't take it well if you waited til the last second. So tell her soon.
I don't know about dumping her while you are away. Had you talked about this earlier you could have discussed how you both will handle this year apart. However, if you tell her early enough now you can still do this. The important thing here is to make sure that she is okay with what's going on. Don't worry about how she'll handle the news, be patient and understanding of her feelings.
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