A
male
age
41-50,
*dtiger
writes:I have a question I'm in need of advice. I have a friend who I have liked for many years but never told her. The reason why I never told her was because she was always in a relationship with this guy who has no backbone. The back drop to my question is, for the past 6 years they have been together he has always physically been there for her but has never emotionally supported her. She has a family and relatives who are constantly negative to her verbally. Every time seeing her telling her she is fat and needs to lose weight giving her diets to go on for years. She has low self esteem from that and her ex b/f b4 this current. As each year goes by her mental and emotional health was getting worse. Constant headaches and migrains daily. Her Dr gave her all kinds of medication including vicaden. She would go through a Costco size Tylenol bottle in 3-4 months on her own. I kept my distance as I didnt want to get emotionally involved with her while she was in a relationship. Through the years I would give her my advice to help her online but in the past year I have been working in the same office with her and directly talked and dealt with her problems. 1 year has gone by now and all her headaches n migrains are gone, her self esteem is better than it was 6 yrs ago today. Her b/f has never been able to help her in the past 6 years. 2 months ago he proposed to her and now she is engaged. I still care about her very much and would like it to be more than just friends. My ethics has always kept me at a distance, but I feel that if she marries him she will not be happy. I have asked her if I was with her, instead of him in the vital parts of her life when she had problems and situations, would she dealt with her problems differently for the better. She said yes. I then asked her why does she think that. And her response is that she trusts me more and is more confident around me than she is with her fiance.My question is, should I tell her I have feelings for her and always have but my ethics has always stopped me cause she has been in a relationship. Realizing she has little confidence in her fiance yet she is willing to marry him cz she feels secure with him not cheating on her or leaving her but will not get the emotional support from him that she needs.
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confidence, engaged, fiance, her ex, lose weight, self esteem Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, help......please  +, writes (26 February 2007):
 i would go for it, there nothing to lose you never know how she feels. As forer family, my family are like that to me theres always negative towards me telling me im fat and things like th i got a A in one of my gcse and they were putting me down again saying i could of got a A* you need to pull her out of her house and give her what she deserves. good luck let me know how it goes. xx
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