A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey I'm going through puberty and I'm only starting though I'm starting to have feelings for...guys! I am seriously starting to freak out I started having feelings for girls but not anymore I don't feel turned on looking at boobs 0% ! I started to have these feelings a month ago and it's getting more every day I am attracted to guys and only guys 100% but I don't know what to do with these feelings I have friends I'm afraid I'll start to fancy them? Who should I tell? Or should I? Help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2010): You sound like me :/
There isn't much to add to what others have said but if you are gay, your previous attraction to women was probably because boobs are the first sexual thing you see as a boy and we live in a society where we are expected to be straight from birth. But whatever sexuality you turn out to be is fine. People should not be judged by their sexual preferences (:
P.s. I wouldn't tell a guy if you like him unless you are sure he feels the same way. There are some very mean people out there that look for things that they can use against you.
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (4 May 2010):
 she sounds very curious and at your age all people want to talk about is sex, its all thats on their mind. you are very young to be telling your parents. just ask her to calm down with talking about it. tell her that you aren't totally sure and you would appreciate it if she kept it quiet. good luck
being gay is fine , but a month is a very short period of time to be declaring yourself gay
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A
male
reader, squirtrocks123 +, writes (4 May 2010):
i totally feel you mate. I hhad and am having the same issue. The way i fixed it was i found a trusted friend and told them. I then however ignored the feeling and now i would consider myself bi.
I still haven't told many people but i feel fine with myself now. Meet some other people who are openly gay and discuss stuff with them. Most important dont do anything without giving it long thought
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe girl I told her a week ago and she won't stop phoning me or wanting to talk to me about it in school my friends and my parents are getting suspicious about this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): I believe you when you say you're not the same guy, you wrote "Hey" first (most of the others started with "Hi"), you spelled attracted correctly and you didn't capitalize Random words Like This.There are some gays who are very confident in their sexuality and can tell early on they'll be gay for life.From what I've seen most gays aren't like that though.Puberty is a phase where a lot happens and you get hormones like crazy. This affects your sexuality too.I know several guys who, at some point or time during their puberty, were attracted to other guys, but who years later are confident they're straight. (And are happy in straight relationships.)That said, your attraction can very well mean you've now found your true preference, and that you'll in the future be able to be in a romantic relationship with another guy.It doesn't have to be set in stone at this point. You are you, regardless of who you get attracted to, and also regardless of what you call your attraction.I liked how you wrote your question, I thought it was cute.Don't worry about things, just let yourself be who you are.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 April 2010):
 What are your parents suspicious about? And why do you wish you didn't tell your friend?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo heartfullalove: it's not me I promise I've read these questions and nearly all say they are 13 when I am 14 so belive me it's not me! I've told my best friend who's a girl and has sworn to secrecy but I'm starting to regrett telling her ! She always wants to phone me and talk to me and my parents are starting to be suspicious!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): I'm not sure there's anything you can do except bide your time, accept your feelings as perfectly OK and not get into a panic about it.
If you look at the sub-section on this site entitled 'Gay Relationships' you might notice that there has been an abnormally huge avalanche of questions recently from a gay teenage male aged 13-15 with a UK flag. If you read these questions, you'll notice that they are all written in the same style and ask variations on the exact same thing. They would appear to have all been written by the same guy. The writer's tone is desperate, childish, driven. My strong suspicion (though not my 100% conclusion) is that you've written them all, sometimes six or seven 'questions' a day.
I suspect that the frequency of replies to these questions is getting scarcer all the time because there isn't much anyone can say beyond what's already been said (i.e. if you are gay that's completely fine and not something to fret about and it's a matter of becoming comfortable with it and you certainly shouldn't rush into telling people about it at this age or making a big announcement or 'coming out', though maybe a sympathetic female friend whom you're certain you can trust might be a good place to start if you need to get it off your chest).
But firing in several zillion questions about the same issue is going to strike people on this site as time-wasting, and seems to be fairly unhealthy compulsive behaviour. Read a book, go for a nice walk, go to see a good movie!
I know it's traumatic to find out you're gay at age 14 or whatever - I dealt with it by staying positive and not looking on it as a bad thing and trying to keep quiet about it (that didn't really work, everyone knew I was gay anyway) and maybe watching gay porn now and then to satisfy my sexual fantasies. (No different from all the straight guys your age whacking off to mags with pictures of girls in their undies: their hormones are running amok, and so are yours. It's perfectly normal. Maybe try the site 'youporn'.)
But don't rush into having sex at your age, there's no rush. When you're 17 or thereabouts you'll probably feel much more ready to take the next step.
I hope it works out for you, best of luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): when i was 13 i thought i was a lesbian but as i wasn't sure and as i was still quite young, i kept it to myself to figure out if women really did hold attractions for me. In the long run no but i can understand and appreciate the female form, i just prefer the men these days :) I think being young you are limited in your experiences and won't really know who you are so live a little and see what you like, before giving yourself any sort of label. If you like boys then you like boys, and if you like girls you like girls, you could even end up liking both - it doesn't matter but just give yourself time really to find out rather than going "I'm gay" to the world before you really know. Personally, i didn't tell and i recommend you doing the same unlesss you really need to talk and know a someone trust worthy who will keep your confidence.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (28 April 2010):
You might start to fancy your friends, but if you do just keep it to yourself. There are several people out there straight and gay, that fall for their friends. So until you know for a fact that you are head over heels it is usually best to keep it to yourself and not act on it. I am bi, and I had a few smaller crushes on my friends, but they were straight. So the best thing to do was just to not say anything to them about it and let it pass. Don't act up on it. And then later on you will find a guy who likes you back the same way you like him and you can have a relationship together.
Really, straight people experience this too. Nothing to worry about! You might want to tell your friends if you feel comfortable enough, I always thought it was the best to be open about things. However, I haven't been big on telling the world Im bisexual. I just tell people if they ask really, I dont see a need to announce it.
You could tell your parents though! Because they are your closest family and I am sure your mother will start to wonder sooner or later why you aren't interested in girls. Or you could wait until you have come more to terms with your sexual preferences and feel more confident in who and what you are.
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (28 April 2010):
 You should tell...
Your sexuality is quite possibly the biggest factor in your life.
You are a young person that is not yet DAMAGED by the complete shame that comes with hiding such a big secret.
If you are open, your true friends will stick around, your true family will stick around, and quite honestly, everyone else can go to hell.
Being open about who you are is the best thing to be.
Tell someone you trust, like your parents or something.
Update us!
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