| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I need some help here...I suffer with bi polar manic depression, and I think it is affecting my relationship with my boyfriend. We have been together for 4 months and I haven't told him about my illness. I am afraid to tell him because then he will probably want to stop seeing me. But if I don't I might make this good thing end.How do I tell him, and should I tell him, so he can understand why I do some stupid things without reason? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (26 January 2006):
 Hi, my advice is to gather all the information you have on bi polar and sit your partner down in a relaxed atmosphere. Be brave, as this is for you a big step, and one you need to take. Remember, he may not understand what your condition, is so try and be as patient and as calm as you can be. If he starts to react innapropriatly, you can call time out, and ask him to at least try to understand, by taking the info you have gathered home to read. Ask him to ring you to discuss it in a day or two, and remember if he does not want to understand, then really he is not worthy of you, and you should move on. I'm sure it will all be ok, and I will be here if you need anymore support.
A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (26 January 2006):
 Hi there
Are you on medication for your illness and are you under a decent practioner? If so next visit how about you discuss with your therapist how to tell your bf about your condition. If you were a diabectic or epileptic you would probably not have any worries telling him. But because of the stigma surrounding mental illness this seems like a difficult one to deal with.
Don't let your fears put you off telling him. Because if he finds out later he will be gutted you didn't trust him enough to tell him (if your relationship progresses far enough to become serious)
Stop feeling ashamed of your condition, you have an illness like any other. Bi-polar disorder is far more common than you may realise. You cannot help your physical make-up, any more than you can help having brown hair, green eyes or a stutter say. At least you have made inroads to control it's symptoms and live your life fully.
Take it from me (and I have personal experience of this condition) if he runs away because he is misinformed or views you like the god-awful stereotypes of mental illness that do the rounds, he ain't worth it. Easy for me to say! But if he loves you enough to stick around and learn more you have a top-bloke on your hands.
Good luck and take care xxx
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2006): Don't think of your depression as an illness, perhaps more as a hormonal imbalance. tell him you have mood swings you can't control and that you need help with them. Simple as that. Tell him that probably he can help you figure it out, but that you get really distressed or rude when you feel depressed and that you can't help it, but you want to try to feel better , and ask him what he can do for you. Also so sorry in the right way and eventually sell him that you are bipolar or use a different word that you have mood swings and tell him perhaps it is a bit chronic, perhaps it isn't, asked him to help out.
...............................
|
