A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I discoverd my 12 year old daughter is masturbating. I do know its perfectly normal but she is doing it alot I am worried. I dont even know how to bring it up but would it be wrong to say doing it too much can be bad for you? Through advice of a friend she is using objects as well and I am worried she will cause damage to herself. Everyone I have asked says dont say anything or she will get embarrased and shut off from me but she is talking with and taking advice from her friends and that cannot be good. I did experiment but not as much as she is doing. am I paranoid or should i ask her about this? Any help will be appreciated. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, holliegeorgie.x  +, writes (30 August 2010):
 If I was in her position and my mother came up to me and asked me about that I'd be humiliated, a young girl almost a teenager is bound to. In my eyes you shouldn't be worried we all go through these stages. It's part of a need you should be glad it's her doing it and not anybody else for example a boy. Maybe tell a story like "when I was younger my friend told me about using a ------ masturbating, I found this weird but a lot of people don't". Then maybe she could open up to you and you could talk about it with her. If she doesn't then i wouldn't worry she'll be fine and go out of this phase. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): When I was younger my mother also had the same problem with me and she sat me down and she said its a private act and that its perfectly normal and that I shouldn't feel embarressed or ashamed at all but its something I need to keep inside my room or bathroom I think if you approach it with information aspect rather then your concerns then she'll feel that she can come to you with any questions I know my mom was my savior during my teenage horny years !! Good luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): talk about embarissing your daughter its private and will come to no harm at least its better then her actually havin sex! shes just exploring and learning about her body leave her be and let her carry on
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2010): I dont think that masterbating at a young age is a sign of maturing earlier - masterbating isnt about being sexually mature, its about getting to know your body!I started touching myself when i was 6! And i didnt know it was sexual, I was just exploring my body!I started masturbating with things like vibrating toothbrushes when I was 10. I still didnt think there was anything wrong with it and i've been doing it for 10 years without any bad side effects!My mum found my found it under my pillow once, but thank god never talked to me about it! We have a close relationship but that would have been too embaressing!And think about it, masterbating is private, why on earth would you want to talk about it to your mum?!Leave her to it, she will be fine!
...............................
A
male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (27 August 2010):
 There are many online sites which give varying ideas and advice about masturbation. The common denominator is that everyone does it, to some degree, and many of us start masturbating at quite an early age.
There are tales of children as young as 7 or 8 becoming aware of the sensations that their own bodies can create. Even in those cases, where young females used rolling pins, hairbrushes, foodstuffs, or toothbrushes, there was never any actual or lasting physical damage.
Your daughter is on a journey of self exploration that most of us come to enjoy. Her amount of self pleasuring is purely her prerogative, and as long as she is not harming other people, falling behind at school, or allowing masturbation to become the focus of her life, there seems no need to worry.
I am wondering if the fact that people outside of your immediate family share this knowledge is actually embarrassing you personally? Why let it? Remember that most of us here masturbate, young and old, male and female, so if it is a subject that causes you to cringe, then there is no way you can talk to your daughter about it. I am also wondering who would tell you this information, and why. Hard as it is, you have to accept that your daughter is having sexual thoughts, and likes to feel sexually aroused. For her, there is no going back. I believe that females masturbate just as much as men do, and have every right to do so. Girls just dont brag about it!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2010): well. it is a fact that kids are maturing much earlier than before. so just leave her alone and don't embarrass her.she is ok.
...............................
A
female
reader, luvingme21  +, writes (27 August 2010):
 Wow, this is a tough one. Does she have any female around because I know if a male or even my father approached me about this I would be very uncomfortable and embarrassed. Think of it this way at least she isn't sleeping around. Its normal, at that age our hormones are crazy. I say keep it to yourself. It would be VERY awkward hearing about masterbasting from a male..let alone YOUR FATHER!!!
...............................
A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (27 August 2010):
 Be glad...One part...She is not out there doing it with a guy.
Talk to her...but not as a mother, but as a friend. If you get mother like, she will shut down. Most teens tend to think grown ups do not understand what they are feeling or going through. They think we were born this way...Adults.
Just talk, no correcting...at first...Talk until your lips fall off, then talk some more.
...............................
A
female
reader, loopylynch +, writes (27 August 2010):
 I have 4 children, 3 boys 11, 9 and 5 and a daughter who is 2... If you feel you 2 have a close relationship then just take the plunge, sit her down and give her advice as if you dont no she does it!! and how careful she should be if she ever decides its a path she wishes to explore!! bring up how boys dont have to worry about how much they do it and dont have to worry about 'objects' but 'us' girls do!! also.......
Without the objects she is doing no harm to her body, and with objects she will no if it hurts or its uncomfortable, so hopefully not do any damage to her insides. :) If you do decide you would prefer to discuss these issues then bring up school, mates, boyfriends, sex educations and then the issue at hand! Good luck :) x
...............................
|
