A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll spare you all the details but basically, he asked me out last year, I had to say no for personal reasons, but I liked him and have realized over the course of the last few months that I'm ready to date again, and I'm still into him. Whether or not he's still into me, however, is the question.He moved, but he comes to my town (2 hour drive) 2x a month or so to visit me and some of his other friends here. He ususally stays at my place and I pamper him, massage him, all that good stuff. This week, however, I'm pretty sure he's noticed how I've been acting differently, and in the 2/3 nights he's stayed here, when we wound up cuddling he at some point wound up holding my hand. I know that wasn't an accident once, let alone twice. Now I' m ready to tell him how I feel. I've asked about 10 of my friends for advice, including my super-man-smart friend who said I should keep it light-hearted and flirty, and judge his reaction thereafter. I do NOT want to overwhelm the guy, make him feel trapped, or make him feel like he has to lie to me about how he feels in order to make sure I don't feel bad. I'm looking for a straight-up, honest response.Soooooooo, any ideas? He came to town Monday night and will leave Thursday or Friday morning, and I want to tell him before he leaves. PROBLEM IS, he's gone most of the day and I have work and class, except from 4 am-2pm or so when we basically just have dinner, massages, and cuddle and go to sleep. So going out on a date is out of the question. :(Ideas on what to say, how to say it, when? Gracias! :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@JMT: funny you should say that--when he stayed here, both nights he wound up holding my hand, and I didn't refuse. I knew it couldn't be an accident, but yeah....
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (14 July 2011):
 Tell him with your hand... by holding his... hand.
Just initiate something that you wouldn't normally do as a friend, an extra long hug, a kiss on the cheek or forehead, lips if you're game... just anything that lets him know that you're interested in more. Then if he does the same or escalates things a little bit more, you'll know he's keen.
You won't scare him off by coming on too strong, you won't have to rack your brains on how best to say things and... well... it'll just feel more natural.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2011): Escalate things in your room.
Kiss each other. If you both like each other why not? Stop where you are comfortable, then go outside and walk under the stars and moonlight together. Go to a romantic spot.
In this situation words aren't needed as much. Just do it. Words cause more pressure and nervousness. Let your heart and body speak for you, and then after you share each other and bond talk about what you want.
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A
female
reader, Blod  +, writes (13 July 2011):
 I agree with your friend. Considering how close you are as friends, you don't want to be too intense with him. But I reckon that there's a good chance he still likes you, and if he knows that you couldn't date him last year for personal reasons, he might not have let those romantic feelings for you go.
So, as he asked you out last year, I think it could be an idea to mention that. Maybe when you're cuddling, you could tell him that if he did ask you out again, you wouldn't reject him this time. I don't know if that'd be awkward between you, but at least it gives him the option of whether to ask you again. You'd also make your feelings clear, but I don't think it's too direct to scare him off.
Just an idea anyway. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWOW, DC totally screwed up the title. To clarify, folks, I'm not asking IF I should tell him I like him; I'm already pretty set on that. I'm just asking HOW I should do it considering my friend's advice--she said I should keep it "light-hearted and friendly" and I don't want to overwhelm the guy or scare him off. As for our friendship being "ruined" like the title provided by DC suggests, I'm not concerned about that at all.
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