A
female
age
51-59,
*ickieysrojo
writes:Please help! I am a my wits end. My fiance of 8 1/2 years seems so different now. He always seems to be angry and has a short fuse whenever our daughter or I make mistakes but he doesn't seem to be like that with his daughters who visit on weekends. I am considering leaving and taking her with me, but I am worried about her not being with her dad. Any advice would be appreciated.
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female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (10 March 2007):
 I think if you are considering leaving then things must be pretty bad. This guy is upsetting you and your daughter and acting differently around his own. This suggests to me that he can control his behaviour as he does when his kids are there. Trust your own gut and leave. Taking your daughter away from her dad will do her more good than harm. It is a very big decision to make but it is the right one. You are putting your daughter first here and with you there to love and support her she will do just fine.
Best of luck
Aunty t
A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (10 March 2007):
 I used to have a short fuse and boy was I a powder keg. Even though I had warned my wife before we were married, she wanted a divorce the first time she saw me go off. (Though I had never touched her I got good at fixing walls.) When our son was born I learned to calm down. Now, though I am still a powder keg I have such a long fuse that my kids (26 and 22) only remember seeing me blow a couple of times and those were times where family was jepardized and I was jumping to their defense.
For your safety and that of your daughter I would get away from him. At the very least to give him time to do something about that problem if he is willing. I doubt he really will do something about it though.
As I have told others, there many men who will treat a woman as they should be treated, like a queen. And that includes accepting your daughter as well. As bad as it seems to have your daughter away from her dad, to get her away from that environment is the lesser of the two evils. And after 8-1/2 years you owe it to yourselves to go and find your Prince Charming. I wish you and your daughter much success in this endeavor. Doc.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2007): If his behaviour is likely to have any impact on your child in the future then YES leave him. If you are unhappy with him, then this would also be a good reason to leave. DOnt just stay because you are used to him. Leaving will be hard at first and you need to be brave but once its done, there will be nothing you cant do and you can start taking care of yourself and your daughter. Find someone that puts you two first!
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