A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 25 and still living with my parents and youngest sister while I save up for a house deposit. My other sister is a year younger than me and has just moved into a rented flat with her boyfriend. They both came to visit us today and she said she thought she had left some stuff behind, so she started going round the house putting things into a bag. At one point, I noticed she had put a DVD of mine into the bag, so I had a proper look inside and found she had taken several items which belong to me and my youngest sister. We confronted her about it, and she got mad and denied it. She then loaded the bag into her boyfriend's car and they both left. However, my parents are now annoyed at me and my youngest sister, saying we caused a scene over nothing and if she wants to borrow stuff we should let her. But she isn't borrowing stuff is she? If she had asked to borrow it we would have been happy to loan her stuff, but she didn't ask. She just loaded the things she wanted into a bag and took them. I am so mad right now because I can't understand how they can possibly defend her and blame us for this. They seem more worried about what her boyfriend will think than what she actually did. I tried to ask them what they would do if my auntie (my Dad's sister) came into our house and took his things without asking but they think that's different! I gave up after that because I don't want to get into an argument, but I'm not really sure what to do now, as there is an awful atmosphere between everyone in the house.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013): Who cares what your parents think. You are a 25 year old woman who knows right from wrong. What your sister did was wrong. You should have taken your stuff out of the bag and tossed her out. Sister or no sister- steeling is unacceptable. Don't stew. Have your own mind about these things. You don't need your parents to take sides or tell you whats right or wrong. You need to know this for yourself. Go visit her in a few weeks and take everything she 'borrowed' back. Also inform her she isn't allowed back in your apartment. End of story.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (27 January 2013):
 It's unfortunate that parents do that to children. Do you feel that they favor your sister when you grew up? It is not uncommon. Why they do that I have no idea.
You can express how this made you feel. You don't feel they value your feelings. You can't expect much from them if they are denying what happened. They deny things when they can't believe they raised a daughter to have no manners. They would rather have the boyfriend think you are being too uptight than for him to think your sister is selfish. You can only let them know that when they are being unfair it affects you and that you will try to get over it by yourself. You did nothing to cause the atmosphere. You can only stop it from getting bigger.
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