A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:First off, I love him and he loves me. It's totally a proven fact. So here's what happend. I'm 19. He's alot older then me, and we broke up the first time because he did not have a job and I was paying rent and all the expenses. I freaked out. He was also still married and said he wasn't smoking anymore and I found out he was. I've always had a bad feeling about the age difference, but it never became a problem until people started badgering me to find someone my own age. I realized I couldn't live without him and moved back in, he was so happy, I was still upset he didn't find a job. He started the divorce and quit smoking for good. It lasted about a month and I just couldn't take it anymore, so I told him I didn't think it would work and while I was at work be moved his stuff in one room and threw mine in another. Arguments accelated, police were called so he had to leave the next day while I was working. My DVDs, undies, socks and makeup was gone when I came home. I came to realize I wouldnever see that stuff again so I let it go. Everyone was tellung me to get a protection order against him, so i did. I tried dating a guy my age and I couldn't stop thinking of my ex. He was my first love and I know I was his. I calledmy ex the other day and toldhim I missed him, I had a breakdown. I could not stop crying and I asked him to meet me but he wouldn't. He told me he was scared I would turn him in and so I drove to where he told me his apartment was. And waited. Eventually I left after bugging him all night to see me. The next day he told me he wasn't even in the same state as me. Everyones been telling me to move on but I've tried. I can't. I was thinking that maybe when he comes back to my state we could try counsilimg?? Can someone give me insight?
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at work, broke up, divorce, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm thinking I should just move on. I took him back and some of the same shit is happening. Damn I thought love could over take everything else.
A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (3 November 2010):
First I like to say I can feel you’re hurt and I see you went very wrong here. “I love him and he loves me.” Always let people speak for themselves.
Trust is what you two were really lacking here:
“people started badgering me” “Everyone was tellung me” “Everyones been telling me”
These are relationship killers. They break trust between two people the fastest. How can anyone confide into a person that goes outside of the relationship and talk. When you listen to others about your relationship then you should expect problems as such. You should expect that it won’t last between the two of you know matter what his age happen to be.
“Arguments accelated, police were called so he had to leave the next day while I was working. My DVDs, undies, socks and makeup was gone when I came home.” This is hot headed and can be forgiving, we do things in the heat of the moment that we normally wouldn’t do. Although it hurtful it’s understandable.
My advice is, you need to think is this age gap between the two is something you as a person can handle. Next get people out of your relationship no matter whom you’re dating. This time while you’re separated think about setting boundaries and things you as a person will not accept. A man character is defined by his work. Why isn’t your guy working? That’s something you two or you need to find out before moving forward. I would write him and explain all my concern then give him and open ended time frame to think. I wouldn’t wait forever. You need to stop running from one guy to the next looking for a way to heal your heart, only time can do that.
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A
female
reader, Sravs  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 I think you are unable to accept the reality. You are paying money to purchase the problems....You felt that you broke up with him for all the wrong reasons....nice to hear that.....Better attend the councilling and decide whether you are doing right or wrong.....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): You should let go! Its obvious that he doesnt want you back . . You shouldnt put in 100% & he put in nothing. It should be 50/50
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess what I am asking is maybe I broke up with him for all the wrong reasons, I know he loves me and would do anything for me, I just feel that we broke up for really no good reason. I know I can meet somone else but I don't want to meet anyone else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's not making me beg by any means, he plans on moving back to my state when he's got some money saved up, and if in the meantime I say just come back now, he would. He would do amything for me because he loves me. Yes I want him in my life but it's constant with people telling me what I should do in my life that's worrying me
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A
female
reader, First  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 Hi!!
The most of ur problem ,how to forgetting him, i don t know what the way u do right now.But the one thing ,you shuld manage your feeling and take a lot of time being alone , thinking back what he had done with u . Being in ur age , you can find a better one. I know , you love him a lot but giving love not just use ur heart but have reason also.
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A
female
reader, Sravs +, writes (28 October 2010):
Dear Friend,
I understood your problem. First i would like say you is Question yourself ..Do you want him in your ? If your heart say Yes answer ..........Then ask again Why do you want him in your life ? It may give answer as to live happy live or related answers....But is it possible in the reality...?
Till now you are begging him...Do u want to continue the same in your entire life...? If you want please go ahead.... I don't stop you.... I know he is your first love...It is difficulty to forget the first love always..It is not only for you...it is common for everyone... though the person insults ,you don't take it with mind ...always you receive it with your heart ...so you wont see his faults...always forgives him... But remind one thing here...he is treating you as a beggar....
To forget the ex-lover dating with some one is not the correct solution. Definitely your mind will think about the past memories. Spend the time with you instead of deviating towards another task. Love yourself. Show gratitude to your existence.Ask yourself what do you want..? If you like to eat ice cream in the night time just go by your car or on bike. Yes it is a new treatment to recover.Fix some tasks to do..and finish them.... Pat yourself for small achievements.... Send the stress out... Do yoga or meditation.... Or else go to parlor for body massage. It helps you to relax... Head , legs and hands are immediate stress relief organs...go for a walk either in the morning or evening....
If you get any thought of your ex think he is dead...can you keep a dead body in your house for a long time...what will happen if you keep it...? It smells bad...so just remember this the moment you have this thought...
I wish you all the best dear.
- Sravs
-Sravs
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