A
female
age
30-35,
*tam
writes:I have been in a relationship with my ex boyfriend for 5 months.He was in the army during the week, and during most of the weekends he was home.When he was here in the weekend we spended most of our time together. He was so in love with me that i had to tell him to not forget to spend time with his friends and go visit his family.It was the first relationship were i felt like i really found my soulmate and someone i could trust.2 months ago i went for 3 weeks back home. We kept having contact everyday. There was one evening in particulair when i asked him to not go out to the nightclub that is just around the corner because i had a bad feeling about it.I am absolutely not the kind of girl that is jealous and girls are openly flirting with him while im standing next to him and he doesnt give them a single flirt back and i don't even think he realises that those girls are flirting with them.I told him i was scared, and he told me he was scared because he knows how boys are looking at me. We ended up having a normal conversation and everything was fine.In the middle of the night i got a text message from him saying, don't worry i am going home now, this club is nothing without you. I want to be with you and i can't handle it anymore. I love you so much and i miss you so much i wish you were here, it's better if i go to bed now.So I came back and noticed something was wrong. I asked him what was wrong and he told me he had some stuff in the army going on, and he missed me so much.The weekend after that i told him that he needs to tell me what is going on and i told him i didnt believe that it had something to do with the army.He started crying and told me he cheated on me by kissing with another girl. I told him i could forgive him for that if it was only a kiss, considering that he was drunk and i know what can happen in drunk situations.In the evening he called me and asked me to come over. He told me he wanted to break up with me because he didnt had any feelings for me anymore. After the conversation i left and he followed me crying begging me for taking him back. I told him that if he didnt feel anything for me anymore why he was crying.I went to a good friend of mine and asked him for suggestion. He told me that my boyfriend didnt want to break up with me because he didnt love me, it was obvious that he loved me and this was not the real reason.In the middle of the night i went back to my boyfriend and asked if i could sleep over at his place, i didnt want to wake up my roommates.In the morning he started crying and said, i know that if i am going to tell you this you will leave me, but i cant keep lying to you like this. I didnt want to tell you because i dont want to hurt you, i tried to keep it for myself but i cant.he told me he had sex when he was really drunk. I know that girl and she always has sex with boys who have girlfriends, somehow she knows how to convince them and she sees it as a game.I walked away from him, told him it was over.He kept sending me messages for 3 weeks. When he was here in the weekend he was staring at me, crying in front of everyone that he lost me. He tried to come as close to me as he could. Kept staring at me while is was drinking or sitting at the pool (this is a very small community and avoiding him is not an option).Last weekend i went to the club and he was there, i went outside to smoke a sigarette and he came standing next to me. I politely walked away, he followed me and stood in front of me crying like a little child. Telling me how much he loves me and how much he hates himself for doing this to me. About how he cannot live with himself anymore. I told him to go to bed and i left to my room. He texted me mutiple times in the middle of the night to come outside of my room. I looked under the door and saw him standing over there. He kept standing there for 2 hours texting me, calling me, crying in front of my door. At 7 a clock in the morning he left.He kept sending me messages, i never responded.He is depressed, everyone is telling me. So many people are telling me he is really sorry and i need to take him back.In fact i still love him, i still have feelings for him. I cant forget him. I know that he is such a good guy.I am just afraid that if i will take him back i will never be able to trust him as i used to. And i would be lying to myself and him. But on the other side what if it would work this time? What if he learned his lesson (i didnt contact him, i didnt even gave him a look and he still kept on beggint).What if it was truly only one time.He is so sorry that it hurts me to see him like that, even after what he did to me.
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cheated on me, depressed, drunk, flirt, I love you, jealous, kissing, my ex, roommate, soulmate, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (26 July 2011):
 He made a big big mistake. The only reason you should take him back is if you love and miss him and think you can forgive him for what he did. He will have to be prepared to do a lot of hard work for you to trust him again. He needs to be prepared to account for where he is at all times to explain his actions whenever you want him to and to reassure you when you need it. If he's willing to do all this and you WANT him back then by all means give it a try.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2011): Once a cheater always a cheater. You will never be able to trust this man, he is playing on your emotions by crying whenever he see's you. Stick to your guns. Don't take him back!
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