A
female
age
41-50,
*rchidgeisha
writes: I have been with my current boyfriend for almost two years, he has a lot of problems and growing up to do as far as his own life is concerned and I got tired of waiting around and so I told him I was going to start seeing someone else. After having dinner with the other guy, I decided to break things off with my boyfriend. I was honest with the new guy, and told him everything, but also that I had broke things off with my bf and was trying to move on. I also told him I wasn't ready for any serious commitments with anyone. I made the mistake of sleeping with my ex after all of this was said , and i feel terribly guilty about it. I've always been a woman of my word. I think the new guy is really interested in me, but I'm feeling overwhelmed, and think there is a possibility my ex and I may eventually get back together. To top it off, the new guy is a good friend of mine's little brother. Should I be honest with him about sleeping with my ex even though we aren't in a relationship (have only been on four dates) or should I take a sabbatical from all men even though the new guy is helping to give me some perspective on things. What should I do to ensure no one gets hurt?
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get back together, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ciara rain  +, writes (13 April 2009):
well hun, i know you probably might think iam only 18 what do i know but here it goes, theres a good reason hes your ex, how many times to girls go back to there ex boyfriends thinking, this time it might be different, and it is for about 5 mins until all those old problems you had before start creeping up again, it is clear u weren't happy with the way your relationship was before, so why on earth would you want to go back to him? with the new guy its 50/50 like u said you were not going out with him when u slept with your ex, so theres no real harm done, but if you really like this guy and you see yourself being with him long tearm it might be better to start out being honest xxxxxxxxtake care c ps no one can tell you what to do you have to follow your own heart but you need to do whats in your best interests, whats best for own development
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (13 April 2009):
 I think you should sit and really find out what you really want. Once you know that, you can act on it and do things the way no one gets hurt. If this is what you mean by "sabbatical", then that's what you should do.
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A
female
reader, sirrenity7 +, writes (13 April 2009):
 as long as your not leading the new guy on to believe he's the only one your associating with...you should be fine...BUT if your giving him the impression that you and him may have something in the future and your no longer in contact with your ex...you're wrong....if he knows your still in contact with ex...then as an adult he should know that feelings are 9 times out of 10 still there...just be sure that you don't give the new guy up for ex and ex has other's he's dating also...then you will really feel foolish...because after all you broke up with him and he's technically free...but to answer your question, if not already...the only way anyone is going to get hurt is if your lying about your current status with either
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