A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Met this girl online a few months ago.should I stop talking to her for real or get her to understand?When we first started talking she was always interested in talking and kinda liked me for some reason Idk. When I would have problems things I was going through she would help me out. She really enjoyed talking to me and I did too probably sometimes more than her because at the time I felt like I could trust her. Like 2 months after we started taking she would say as much in conversation it go to that point where it was awkward silences so it felt boring at times and I would ask was she starting to get bored of me and she said no. That following month I would say stuff to her and she wouldnt respond till like a hour or hours at a time or never respod opposed to her responding in like 3 to 5 mins. Sometimes she would get back to me and say she was doing things like on the internet or playing games etc and didn notice. So it got worse to the point where she would not even respond I had to bring stuff up like questions I was asking and stuff and she would get upset and get defensive becaue in her mind she wasnt doing anything and thought I thought she was bored of me. It didnt get better it got worse and continued for like another month I would sk what she was doing and it was always nothing much and conversation was always dry and she was aware of it then after awhile her answers were she was chatting she did start saying a little more to me for a brief while but was still bad. So one day I just told her through email maybe we shouldnt chat anymore and she asked why. I told her she was oblivious to things I was saying and it seemed like she was ignoring me. And never talking to me at all but you say you see my messages and never help me with problems when I bring them upso why dont you ever say anything she said again she gets busy. We had a long convo about how she just doesnt act the same and is always quiet never says anything back to me or really talk and she said she was oblivious to it. I said that makes no since that you dont know what im talking about if all you havve to do is scroll up the screen to see a message in chat sometimes I thought it took her so long to talk to me because I was on a seperate screen on a different monitor because she told me that a long time ago. But turns out she had been chatting with like a whold bunch of people and had me on a different screen and was scared to tell me because thought I would think was bored of me or didnt like me anymore. I asked why didnt she tell me all those months ago because it wouldve saved the trouble says was trying to do the right thing. I brought up maybe we shouldnt talk anymore but says couldnt lose me so I should get on every other day and email her and stuff and stay in contact the bad thing is how easily she said that like I was nothing and pretty much was going to be chatting with them everyday but not me I felt like I was being replaced. So she asked me to get on that next day and alot of things were said becuase she irritated me saying I dont know why there so quiet today usally the people I chat with talk more. But that irritated me because that means she cant hold a conversation with me but can chat with them. And it sounded like my situation proetty much the same thing she did to me is happening to her. SHe got mad when I brought it up she even decided to get on a chat site because her other friends were so quiet that night which makes no since and defeats the purpose of chatting and she tried to tell me I took it to far when it was the truth. So I stopped talking to her and told her again why I was she said if it bothers you that much maybe we should and the thing is she felt so bad about it at first but stopped caringg I said you dont get it because people never done it to you her excuse was people come and go all the time and its just online but yet she was so stuck on me when we first started talking so she was being a total hypocrite. We exchanged a few emails and was saying she misses me online and stuff and I should pop on every now and then. so I got on yesterday and the convo was good we were catching up and stuff then she went back to chatting you would think since we were talking for this one day she would make sure nothing bad happened. She randomly said it sucks you have to bug someone just to answer a question and I said yeah true and she said I know what youre talking about because I use to do it to you. Its like shes aware of things but dont care but the same things are happening to her that shes doing to me. She said the difference is there on one screen but im on another and that made me think wouldnt it have helped if you kept me on that same screen it wouldve saved all of this from happening. So I got offline and she was oblivius to me leaving early because she never reads her previous messages. I really dont know should I ever get back on again I sent a email saying we should just only email this chatting is really bad still I know shes going to have a response to try to make herself feel better and make me look like shes not doing anything I dont even know how im going to respond because even after all this time she still doesnt get she forget someone who is supposed to be her friend and acts like she dont care even thugh trys to say she does which is confusing. Sorry this is so long and the grammer and stuff sucks but I really dont know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah thats true I stopped talking to her for a while and she pretty much acted like it was best even though she kinda made it this way never did anything to her said I was overanylizing stuff and saying its just a online thing even though it was truth and she knew that she was hiding dumb stuff .Was emailing and stuff to stay in contact now she wants to talk all of a sudden saying miss me and crap which is dumb. I dont know what she was doing trying to act cool or what but she is the one who likes me and still does so I dont know why she did that and was acting uninterested.I think shes confused or something idk
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2012): sorry but from what you're saying sounds like she doesn't want to continue with you. Once you start chasing people around, means they might not be interested in the relationship anymore. Maybe don't communicate with her for a while a week or two and see what happens.
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