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He has depression, do I wait or not?

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Question - (24 May 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 May 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Ive been seeing this guy for the last two weeks and he confessed to me yesterday, that he has depression and is on anti-depressants, has attempted killing himself twice and is seeing a counsellor. This doesn't bother me, I still want to see him but he says he wants time to get him head right on his new stronger pills. And he only wants to talk via text and on facebook until he has his head right. What my question is... is when will he have his head right? I know a time frame isn't available here but, is it worth sticking around? I really like him and he was talking about our future together before he told me. I didn't behave any differently, I was supportive. It was his choice to do this.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate it. I was beginning to wonder if anyone was going to reply. I do believe he feels the same about me. He thought he was ready as he said about our future together and plans etc but when he saw me the other day he confessed this to me and realised he didn't want to put me through it. I said I didn't mind and that I was there for him. He keeps telling me if someone else comes along I should take it, coz he doesn't know how long he is going to take. He says he wants me to be happy but Ive told him he does. It like he doesn't believe me. In answer to your question, Im not sure what type of depression he has, he didn't go into specifics. He just said he was on higher dose of pills now coz of three weeks ago he tried something. How do I be there for him, with minimal contact? Thank you for helping again, I could really use the advice.

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A male reader, Ashley0112358 United Kingdom +, writes (25 May 2012):

Ashley0112358 agony auntI was once in that guy's shoes when i first met my GF. (That was seven years ago)

Changing of anti-D's can be quite a scary prospect, especially with mood changes, all the different side effects, and the fact that most SSRI's take at least a month to start, just like the pill for women it takes a while to build up in the body.

For this month he may find it harder to cope with things in his life, knowing this, he will want to try and protect you from it. the last thing he will want right now whilst the relationship is so fresh and new is to show you the worse side of things.

I was adamant my GF and i should of broke up during that stage, but she wanted to stay with me as she didn't think it would be so bad.

So, it our case it worked out fine, with her giving me a little more space, just like he is asking for. He seems to really like you, but the best person to be the judge of that is you.

If you think he is serious about you, then i see no harm in waiting. By being there for him whilst providing space for him to get his head straight will show your intentions, and let him know you care. Which is always a good start to a relationship.

Only wait for as long as you are comfortably willing to, as i said it could take a month or two, maybe longer. However if you like him enough, and believe he feels the same about you whats a month of minimal contact.

This may be a little personal, but do you know what type of depression he has? Is he at all schizophrenic or bi-polar? As these things may be why he only wants to speak via text or facebook, as the mood swings will be less noticeable.

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