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Should I stop talking to her altogether and if I see her should I ask for any explanation re the bar incident?

Tagged as: Friends, Online dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 October 2015) 6 Answers - (Newest, 26 October 2015)
A male United States age 36-40, *olidus writes:

Never been in this situation before so I thought I'd ask for the insight of those perhaps more experienced than myself.

So, I've been texting this girl I met met at a bar for about a month.

So on the 15th we had drinks, made out, etc. So I hit her up a few times this weekend and nothing.

Couple of hours ago I saw her at our neighborhood bar with another guy. I don't want to sound bitter or anything but this guy is not as good looking as me and is actually really fat. Not a problem, I'm not jealous.

so I sit in the back and don't say anything. I observed enough to see that it was a date.

Eventually she brings the guy next to where I'm sitting and plays a whole game of darts two feet away from me. the whole time acting as if she's never seen me before in her life, when days ago her tongue was down my throat.

Seriously, one of the oddest situations I've ever been in.

So my question is this, should I stop talking to her altogether and if I see her out should I bring up that she acted like she didn't know me?

View related questions: jealous, text

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (26 October 2015):

Honeypie agony auntSo this girl have been dating multiple guys (you included) and decided that she was moving onto the next dude without the courtesy of telling you.

It's apparently becoming quite common for people to "ghost" (that means drop contact and move on) in the dating process.

Which (to me at least) means she isn't very serious about dating, you or anyone else right now.

And that in turn it would make me just block & delete her number.

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A male reader, Solidus  United States +, writes (26 October 2015):

Solidus is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Solidus  agony auntNo, that's incorrect, I've been in contact with her everyday since. I contacted her this weekend in an attempt to make plans with her and didn't reach her.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (26 October 2015):

Honeypie agony auntYou met and made out with her on the 15th, and then didn't contact her till the 23rd? for a chance to hook up or what? Am I reading that right?

If so, maybe she has realized you might not be as serious as she was or, she thought you had lost interest when not hearing from you since you two made out, so she moved on.

Yes, it sounds awkward to run into each other, but... YOU didn't say hi either so why be upset that SHE didn't?

Let this one go, and if you are looking for something serious keep in touch with then, go on dates, not just call them on week-ends what you want to hook up or hang out.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (25 October 2015):

janniepeg agony auntI think you can act like as if you don't know her either if you see her out. She didn't want her new date to be awkward although She's obviously not looking for anything serious. You might think shoving her tongue in your throat means strong interest. There are periods in a woman's life where it's just fun and games. If you had trouble asking her out again, I don't think she would explain to you why she ignored you at the bar.

This odd situation must have made you feel invisible, unimportant and forgotten. I am sure inside her mind she must be thinking "oops. Make sure I don't look at him and that he doesn't have to talk to me." Her avoiding you was also a sign that she didn't want to explain anything.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2015):

I'd take it that she wasn't interested and move on, you weren't seriously dating or anything - you'd met, text, met up for drinks and kissed. She's clearly enjoying the dating scene, I would just leave it and move on.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2015):

Wow that's awkward. But what was she supposed to do. Introduce you two. It's an I'm possible situation.

You guys are not exclusive so you can't hold her to any rules. And if you texted her and she didn't respond then I think you have your answer. Move on.

If your out again and run into each other and She makes contact I would just act like it never happened. Be cordial.

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