A
female
age
36-40,
*ompa
writes:I've slept with an old friend a few times and I really like him. The only problem is that he is really bad at keeping in contact. The last time I saw him, I told him that he was pretty rubbish at keeping in touch with me and he told me that he was afraid of getting hurt and that he had been messed around before. After an amazing night together, he left and said that he would see me in two weeks and didn't get in contact. I sent him a message and he replied, and I replied and he hasn't been in touch himself since. Am I wasting my time with this one? Should I stop sleeping with him before I get hurt? Could it be that he is afraid of getting too interested in me in case it doesn't work out? Or is he just not interested in me? Tricky! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): Thanks for replying. I think that you're right - actions count not words. Time to move on :) Cheers
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (30 September 2010):
 Here is a secret: Men can lie.
I know, shocking ain't it?
Actions, not words. Every he says MIGHT be true, but do his actions reflect it? Not from what you tell us. What has he DONE to back up what he says?
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A
female
reader, oompa +, writes (27 September 2010):
oompa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAh but that is the interesting and frustrating part! He has said before that he wants us to be a couple, to have a relationship. I have been a bit hesitant to bring it up since he said it as I don't understand how he can want a relationship and yet not want to be in contact with me and get to know me as a person
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 I'm inclined to agree with LazyGuy. Unless you're content being nothing but a friend with benefits, I'd get out.
I doubt this guy will ever want a real relationship.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy +, writes (27 September 2010):
Booty call.
Read your own post, not as a woman wanting to hear something that ain't there but as an objective bystander. Just what are you describing.
A relationship that is nothing more then he coming around now and then for sex... might be amazing sex (but unless you are seeing someone else on the side, with two weeks in between any sex will seem amazing) but is there anything else? You don't say.
He is afraid of getting hurt... gosh, what an open and honest answer from someone afraid to get hurt. And comes out RIGHT at the moment you confront him... as smooth as a well rehearsed line.
But you know him as a friend. Good, you REALLY know him? So when did he get hurt? When was he messed around before. How did previous women fare with him?
Names, dates, places. Wanna bet he can't come up with them if asked when he was messed around with?
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