A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 27 and have never been on a date. I attribute the utter lack of romance in my life to the fact that I was born with a learning disability that has somewhat impeded my social skills. In order to compensate for the absence of such intimacy in my life, I begun sleeping with sex workers regularly since the age of 20. However, my sexual performance leaves something to be desired. I oscillate between chronic premature ejaculation (during which I sometimes blow my load within seconds) and more lengthy sex sessions that are characterized by my inability to attain full rigidity. Based on what I've heard, neither situation is exactly appealing to most women. Recently however, I've actually begun to consider the idea of ceasing to patronize the services of sex workers since I no longer find much satisfaction with them. Nevertheless , the more rational part of my mind is warning me not to forego what seems to be my best option where my sex life is concerned sexual intimacy. After all, I have failed to acquire those vital social skills that would enable me to form successful relationships with women. At my age, it's probably too late for me to pick them up. Moreover, even in the event that I was able to form a romantic bond with someone, it is doubtful that I would be able to sexually satisfy my partner. Would it then be rational for me to assume that the sex worker route is still my best option by far ?
View related questions:
ejaculation, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (6 March 2014):
 What is your social or learning disability?
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 March 2014):
What do you want?
A relationship? Or sexual release with a partner?
...............................
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A +, writes (6 March 2014):
 Whoever started you off on this course of sex-workers obviously had no idea of the ramifications that would compound and affect you later in life. 7 years later you’re trying to rationalise your best options where sex is concerned. It would have been more productive to encourage your social development in all areas, not just one. Nevertheless, social skills and your irrational mind set can always be improved and changed, but you will have to put in valuable effort.
Moving forward; I see you write extremely well for someone with a learning disability… although your train of thought is based on or occupied with the easy way out; …it’s probably too late for me, it is doubtful… Of course you think this way because what else have you been doing or focusing on other than sleeping with sex-workers in 7 years!? Change your focus and different mind set will follow.
Now if you want a romantic bond with someone etc, and you have PE, then it’s not rational, it’s illogical to keep visiting the wrong place? For something to get better in this area, you need to seek appropriate help as mentioned.
CAA
...............................
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (4 March 2014):
 You can still develop social skills bud seek counselling or read books heck private message me I'm great at them. As for hiring out, until u feel confident id stay with them. Experience matters man I wont lie and in my general experience size does too but focus on one thing at a time in self development. For premature ejaculation try horny goat weed it is excellent at prolonging. The best thing in your situation is paid women dont care about size looks premature ejac or whatever they only care about money and a little respect. To some people thats a damn good thing if they lack confidence in the bedroom and trying to gain it. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2014): I think you should quit. However since that is easier said than done, why don't you go celibate for a certain amount of time, and in that period get some therapy and make some SERIOUS efforts to get some friends. You can take the money that you'll save and join some interest groups(search online for groups that meet in your area). If you feel brave enough (I never was with this sort of thing) you could go to sites like craigslist that offer "strictly platonic" sections where people are looking for activity partners/friends. I think you need some social in your life. Social skills are something you will only get with time, and you are young so you have plenty of time lol, I don't know why you seem to think it is too late. Are you in school? Next time you pass a poster on campus about a student event, go.Have a job? any employee events, go.Religious? go to a church event.Got nothing else to do? The local animal shelter would love for you to volunteer a couple hours a week, and you'll be sure to make some friends.Go to a gym, not only does exercise help the mood and spirit, you'll likely make a couple of friends along the way.You get the idea. Get up and do something that will make you run into other people, and force yourself to have a few conversations, over time it will get easier.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2014): Of course improving social skills is possible!It doesn't matter if you are 16, 26, 46 or 66, if you want to learn then you can. You have to want to improve things, saying you "cant" is the easy way out. Anyone can help their social skills, if they choose to, sometimes it takes practice and help.When I left high school, years ago now, I was so shy, quiet and socially awkward that people thought I was unable to have a simple conversation, (I was, but I was bullied and never given a chance) and, when I began college I struggled and was regarded as odd/shy, college lecturers wondered about me, students avoided me.I was bullied badly all through school and I never learned how to properly interact. I was told to reconsider my course, as I may never finish as I was so shy. I was determined, I tried my best, and I made it through college though I was average, not smart, or socially skilled, but I finished through determination to prove people wrong. I wasn't top of the class but I made it.After college over the years I gradually exposed myself to people, through work and life, and learned new social skills (it wasn't and isn't easy at times,) plus I had counselling to deal with the bullying I had endured. That was years ago now. If I can improve my shyness and awkwardness anyone can, you can too.There are courses you can take to improve social skills, support groups also.Talk to a counsellor, they can help and advise. If you feel you are having sexual performance problems talk to you Doctor, they can help and advise you. Don't just give up on meeting a girl.All the best
...............................
|
