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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I've known this guy since I was four years old--all my life practically. He's smart and one of my best friends. He has always been. We stay in touch and confide in each other--no matter where life takes us. We're complete opposites, but for some reason, it brings us closer. We argue a lot, but care for each other a lot too. He's one of the few people I go to with ALL of my problems. Never have I been afraid to cry or express anything in front of him. He truly is my best friend.I've got a few questions.1.) He's recently admitted something rather huge to me. See, like 6 or so years ago, when I was 13 or 14, we'd been having a good old time, and he'd told me bluntly that he loved me. I was young and had this crazy head of mine, and told him I loved him to. Later, we realized we were truly only friends and just kids. He admitted now though, after all this time, he truly had loved me and still does. Quite much. I can't say I feel the same way. Though he is one of my favorite people, I cannot picture myself with him in that way. I just want him as a friend. I don't want to hurt him though.Another thing: He does weed. In fact, he sees nothing wrong with this. Again, we're total opposites. What's a convincing argument here? Tell me something I can say to him that doesn't sound cheesy!! I really cannot handle him doing this. It's all part of some kind of 'image'. I don't like it. I want it to stop. But, he makes me sound silly and childish when I even bring it up. Actually, a few times he's asked me to join. I decline each time. He would never do anything to harm me, but I'm beginning to realize that he doesn't even believe this harms him. He won't listen to anything I say. He's also begun drinking a lot at parties he goes to. I want his life to be successful and wonderful. Any advice on what to say?Or am I truly being childish and naive? Is it truly not so bad? Will it effect his life? Should I stop butting into his business, even if we're so close?I am just concerned.
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female
reader, smitheroon  +, writes (1 April 2010):
 Yes, for the love of God, stop harassing this guy about what he does or doesn't do. You've already let him know how you feel and it's not going to change anything. Seriously, weed is not really some kind of heinous drug, but that still doesn't stop the fact that it's illegal AND expensive and doing anything illegal is just idiotic. So, he's kind of an idiot .... he's also what, like 19? 20? Men are morons at this age. Let him figure this out on his own and let's hope he doesn't get busted and figure it out while he's on probation.
Now! Onto him loving you. If you don't feel the same way, then tell him that. It will hurt him, but what else can you do? NEVER be anything less than 100% honest with people when you are turning down their advances. It's confusing and more cruel than just saying "I'm not sexually attracted to you." You owe him this - he's your friend.
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