A
male
age
41-50,
*osaic
writes:im 31 in shape and ive got a lady friend who is 22 and in shape. shes been coming over to my place about once a week and spending the night. this has been going on for 3 months. I really like her. i want to give it a shot. she is confusing me though. we laugh and have fun and enjoy eachothers company. i keep trying to take her out to diner and on other dates. she mostly agrees to go on the dates. but when it comes time to pick her up she calls and cancels the date. she always cancells....always..ive bearly spent any money on her. just rent movies. so i know shes not after my money(which i have verry little of). i know thats a good sign. the time in the bedroom is good and there is alot of that.the neighbors complain about the noise. she has a 5 year old son. who she keeps saying she wants me to meet him in a nutral environment. neutral as in not at my place or at hers. some place public. i have no children. im not against having children, im just responsable and have not found the right woman yet. so i told her id take her and her son to a nearby water park and we could meet eachother there. of course she cancells yet again. she just got devorced a month before we met. after she spends the night she usualy keeps in touch for the following 3 days. she will text me and ill text her back..maybe 5 or six texts a day just chatting.. then on the fourth day i will not hear from her. this is fine. i dont try and pester her. on the fifth day i will wiat till the after noon and send her a text asking how she is doing. no response. on the sixth day i will wiat till after dinner to send her a text asking something(just simple whats up texts or a what u up to text)still no answer. on the seventh day i wont text her. i dont want to be pushy. but on the seventh night she will just show up at my place. sometimes i wont hear from her for a week or more. i patiently wait. sending her a text once every 2 or 3 days. and she still does not answer. when i dont hear from a woman for 2 weeks i know thats a bad thing. but then she will just show up out of nowhere and spend the night. then it starts all over again. i dont know what is going on. but i really like her alot and dont want to mess this up so i dont press her for answers. sometimes she says things like we are not even dating. she has been spending the night at my house almost once a week for 3 months straight. why are we not atleast dating? i know there is a 9 year age differance between us. i look good though (in my opinion). i work out im healthy. ive met her parents and they seem to like me. im just not sure what to do in this situation. my friends all tell me the worst thing i want to hear. that she is just using me as, for lack of a better tearm,a booty call. or that she probably has a boyfriend and im just a toy to her. this would ofcourse be unacceptable for me. i dont ask her whats going on because im afraid of what she will tell me. i outwardly appear to trust her. but hidden deep inside of me my thoughts are scared to death that my friends are right. i could spend the rest of my life with this woman and ive told her that.i tell her i love her and she tells me she loves me. should i stick it out and see what happens without pressing her for answers. or should i peacfully ask her the questions that im seeking answers too in my head all night and day. just dont want to mess this up. i know she could be the one for me. but only if im the one for her.
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booty call, has a boyfriend, money, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Mosaic +, writes (9 June 2012):
Mosaic is verified as being by the original poster of the question I know it's the wrong attitude but it's working. I started treating her like dirt last night in some texts. Saying if I'm just some dick on the side that's cool I don't care but I'm gonna see other people. She got all mad but she called me at 9 am and wants me to come spend the day with her and her son. Looks like I flipped the script on her. I got bitches figured out. They got low self esteem. I don't like working but I do it. I don't like being an ass but I'll do it if it works. Thanks for all the advice I really do appreciate it. Wish things could have gone differently. I gotta chew this bitch up and spit her out then move on to the next one. Before I spit her out I'll try being a gentleman one last time and see if it works. Cause I really like her. But ohwell.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 June 2012):
 That really is all the wrong attitude to have, but do as you wish.
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A
male
reader, Mosaic +, writes (9 June 2012):
Mosaic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand what you are saying but I can't do that :(
I wish I could but I never had a woman this beautiful. The broken heart might not be worth it but I'm gonna go ahead and hit myself in the thumb with this hammer and deal with it when it hurts lol. I'm just a sucker nice guy who always finishes last. After this I'm just gonna be a typical man and be a insensative prick. I'm already testing it out on dating websites and I've got a couple of hotties standing in line. I dont like being a prick but if that's what wimon want... That's what they will get. I always thought being a nice guy would eventually get me a keeper but I'm 31 and my heart has been destroyed. Forget my heart.. I've got 31 years of seed sowing to catch up on. Look out bitches, I'm gonna be out the door before you wake, and it's nothing new too you. And il leave you lying on the bed.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (8 June 2012):
I think the best thing for you to do now is to cut her out of your life, she does not want to commit to you and she is not looking for anything serious just a bit of fun, you will end up getting hurt if things don't end now am afraid.
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A
male
reader, Mosaic +, writes (8 June 2012):
Mosaic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfinaly she sent a text response. it is as follows word for word:
im not mad at you ur great and i care for u i dont want u to feel alone i have to much drama crazy bs to be involved and i knw that ur not happy with the way things are and im not either i dnt knw how to fix it cuz i cnt just b with u and i dnt want money or a big house i want love and happiness and i knw i cnt give that to u rite now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): She has probably got another guy on the hook as well.
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A
male
reader, Mosaic +, writes (7 June 2012):
Mosaic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell its been 5 days sience ive heard from her. so i just sent her a simple text. it reads as follows: I'm too tired to keep chasing you. you know where I am.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (6 June 2012):
No you can not continue with things the way that they are, because I am scared you will get badly hurt. You need to talk to her and tell her how you are feeling. It comes across as she is just looking for a bit of fun with you and nothing more. But there could be something else buried here with her that is making her act like this. Maybe she was in a bad relationship so she does not want to get hurt again, or yes it could be possible that she is just using you as a booty call. You need to talk to her and ask her and get those answers that you need. Yes you might be scared off hearing the truth but you know its what needs to happen. Things can not go on the way that they are or someone might get hurt and it looks like that could be you.
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