A
female
age
30-35,
*herrybomb0624
writes:I have been with my current boyfriend for 7 months, he has been married and divorced and is 5 years older than me (Im 21) everything was fine between us, actually almost too good to be true, UNTILL my ex came back in the picture whom i was on and off with for 8 years. It was always outside problems that caused us to break up, family,work etc..and we were too young to change anything. But he is, and always will be my first love. I guess he just came back around at the wrong time and now i am torn between the two.. here's the ups and downs of both...Current: Sweet, caring, hard working, kind of has a failure to launch so to speak as far as moving in together and marriage, kids etc.. because of his past marriage, works out of town 7 days gone 7 days home,(i hate being alone) my family ADORES him, and I love him dearly as well, we get along great, never been in a fight, just a few petty arguments. It seems like every week he is gone we talk less and less, when i have brought it up to him he says he is "comfortable" now and don't think we have to talk as much. also he lives with 3 roommates all guys, and one of them got a girlfriend whom i cant stand. Says he doesn't know if he ever wants kids, and says marriage would not come until 10 years of dating which seems extreme to me. also he wants to start a higher job where he would be gone 300 days of the 1st year, but i would see him on the weekends. Ex: Funny, great chemistry, first love (gets him most points) has a child with another girl he was on an off with as well, as most teenagers do he dabbled in drugs for a year or two and that was NOT okay with me, i wanted no part of it and i left him, he got back with his babies mother because she did it also, and allowed him to do it, and i couldn't compete with an addiction. he has been clean and separated from her for a while now, their son is 2, just as cute and sweet as he can be. he has always been a part of my heart and every guy Ive ever been with i have compared to him which is unfair. He hurt me a lot when he was doing drugs, he has gotten back into church and says he is in 100% this time with me, if i could just give him a chance to show me people change and trust him. So, I'm torn between Giving him a second chance, and telling my current its not going to work, and risk making the wrong decision and losing him forever and getting hurt or hurting him... or..Ignore the ex, stop talking complete which has never been able to happen, hes always found some way to contact me and my heart runs back every time, stay with my current and always wonder what might have been...Someone please please please help me sort my thoughts and figure out what to do!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 June 2012):
 Nobody here can tell you who to chose. You need to do that yourself. You are the one who lived through these two relationships, you are going to need to pick one guy and live with it. We all need to take risks in life and yes you might chose wrong but you still need to make that choice. Also after you make that choice you need to cut contact with the second guy and stick to it in order to allow yourself to move on and be happy.
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