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Should I stick it out and hope that the relationship gets better, or break up with him?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 May 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 17 May 2012)
A age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hello,

I am 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. This is my first boyfriend.

Everything was great for the first few years - we got on extremely well and we really did love each other. We went to the same university and everything started to go wrong, he started to get really moody and we grew apart. I moved to London for a year due to work and we broke up.

After the year, we got back together and we are currently living with each other. I've recently noticed that the relationship has gone down hill. We hardly speak any more and when we do it feels as though we bicker and argue over tiny things. He says things to put me down. It feels as though we are friends and not lovers.

I am at the stage of considering to break up with him because, even though I love him, I do not feel as though we are compatible. We have tried to talk about this but we get no where. I have three months until the lease ends on our tenancy agreement - do I put up with this until then? I really do not know what to do. We are not intimate any more - we do not hug, kiss or have sex.

Should I stick it out and put up with this and hope it gets better, or break up with him?

View related questions: broke up, got back together, university

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A female reader, Read-the-signs United Kingdom +, writes (17 May 2012):

I think it will be a relief to you when it's over, and you know in your heart that things are not right. Personally, I don't see any benefit to prolonging the situation. You are young and shouldn't need to be miserable or tied down to something unsatisfactory.

It will be hard and a big change in your life, but when you end up with some one else in the future who is just right for you, you will look back and realise it was the right move.

Good luck to you.

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A female reader, Melody066 United Kingdom +, writes (17 May 2012):

Sit him down and talk. Ask him some questions.

Is he depressed?

Is he happy in the relationship?

How is his sex drive? Why has it gone down? And when?

Explain you feel a distance between you. If he's interested in fixing that and feels the same way, then he's still in this relationship. If he doesn't care and makes no effort to help, then he's already left you.

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