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male
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anonymous
writes: Is it time for a divorce?I recently cheated on my wife of 4 years and I think it may be time for a divorce. I’m 24 and she is 25. We have three kids, two of which are mine. The third is the result of my wife sleeping with some guy during a 2 month separation. The separation only lasted 2 months because I thought the child was mine. I married my wife because of our first two kids and got back with her because of the third. I haven’t been happy since we got back together, but I’ve been trying to make it work because I love my kids and I want my wife to be happy. I have never cheated on anyone and I don’t like it at all, but now I’ve done it and I think it may be a sign that me and my wife just aren’t going to work. Should I sacrifice my happiness so that her and the kids can be happy? Or should I end it now before something else happens?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): You should end it now. Your unhappiness will rub off on how your kids will grow up. It would not be a good example later on in the years. A part of parenting does not necessarily mean the husband and wife (or husband and husband, wife and wife) need to stay together. That is the common misconception. Yes, if you are religious, then that may have a negative effect, but let's look at this from a modern progressive contemporary point of view. As separated parents, you have the ability to strive away from being restricted to each other. You may not be a great husband, but you can still be a great father and mother. Just make sure when you two separate, you two do it all for the good of the kids, and not do it to satisfy your egos.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): You really can't go on like this. I suggest you have a good chat with your wife, lay it on the line, tell her exactly how you feel. You are both very young and your wife must feel tied at times with three kids. I feel for both of you.Trapped in a situation like this must be torture. Why did you go back? Is she really happy. You need to find out. Do you not think a trip to Relate might help you two get things back on track. There are these three innocent kids to thing about. Mam and dad splitting up is never a good thing but in the long run they will be better with one parent who is happy. If you do split then don't make it hard on the kids, always make sure they come first and give them the best of your Love and Attention at all times. I wish you well and hope it all works out for the better.
Take care
xx
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reader, Mickey_Powell +, writes (4 December 2006):
 I think if you are not happy you should do what is best to make you happy! You will still be able to see the kids, and they get to see you! Maybe you should try seperation before going straight in at the deep end just incase you change your mind!
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