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male
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anonymous
writes: I have been involeved in a relation since last 4 years and got married about six months ago. Though we had some turbulance in the beginning of our relationship, gradually everything settled down and we got married. But everything has changed since then. She has become excessively possisive and I had to sacrifice all my friends(even males) for her. She always wants me to be with her and I had to agree to avoid severe arguements. Still she has started disliking many things that makes me myself. It is very difficult for me to understand why she is doing all these. All these have hampered our lives badly. Please let me know what should I do to make my married life happy? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): "nlind" is "blind"... [sigh] 8/
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): Like Vina and Shandypop said, OPEN COMMUNICATION. If you can't get it through to her head, then you should definitely reconsider this marriage. Even if you feel you love her lots, this is a very unhealthy relationship. She may take first priority in your life, but first priority does not mean unreasonable rejection of everything else in your life.
For myself, if my wife/gf wanted me to dump all of my friends and be with me all the freakin time, I'll tell her that will not happen. I'll say that she is important to me, but what she requests is very unreasonable. Love has no limits, I agree, but love isn't deaf, nlind and unreasonbly stupid.
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female
reader, vina_101  +, writes (4 December 2006):
 Communication is the best way I think. How is she to know how you are feeling if you do not tell her? If you have a problem you must speak up about it. Don't just let it slide to avoid an argument. The problem will arise again and get worse if you dont nip it in the bud. Sit and have a serious talk with her about how you are feeling and how she has been acting lately.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): Talk talk talk, keep talking. Sit down and iron out some of these things with her. Tell her she is sapping the very YOU out of you. She met and married the person that make you so she shouldn't try to change it. You should also never sacrifice your friends (male or female) for your partner. I think she should be made to realise that it can't go on. She has to accept that you have a life apart from her. Surely you cannot be around her 100% of the time. That is downright selfish! Don't go on to have kids, your life will not be worth living. Set some ground rules (nicely of course), let her know that you are going out with one or two of your mates for a night out once in a while and she should have a night out with her pals. Don't let her brow beat you in such a fashion or all of your sap with be sucked out!!
Take care and be a bit more assertive!
xx
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