A
male
age
30-35,
*werty1432
writes:I have been going out with my girlfriend for a little over a year now, at the start of the relationship everything was great, and about 6 months into the relationship, she cheated on me with her ex, he was her first love and she says shes needed closure, i was very upset but a few weeks on i had decided to give her another chance. She is planning on joining the army in a few months, and this will invlove her leaving for around a year and then having to move away, and also recently we have been arguing and going on breaks alot. I do love her but ive been asking myself alot recently, should i just finish it and move on with my life? For us to be together i would have to wait a year and not see her, and then possibly have to move away, which i really dont want to do. Then to probably argue and fight like we do now?, and i dont want to have to wait a year and then decide i dont want to be with her, i feel asif i need to make the descision quickly. I really do love her, and miss her when shes not here, but i just dont know what to do?Thanks.
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cheated on me, her ex, move on Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): Ending relationships is difficult, but this is one that likely won't stand the test of time. If she's already cheated on you, she was never fully there or committed to you. Let the relationship play out of the next few months, if you're not fully ready to call it quits, but certainly keep an eye open for new opportunities. Life moves on....
A
male
reader, Qwerty1432 +, writes (30 December 2008):
Qwerty1432 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay thank you everyone for your advice, okay so i have been talking to my girlfriend last night and she wants to come and stay over for new year. I really miss her and love her, but i know part of me wants to end things? should i tell her not to come and end it? or see how things go knowing i kind of want to break up?
Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): Trust me from a girl who never got closure with her ex boyfriend and now has a new boyfriend I would never ever cheat on my bf wiht my ex. I love my ex to pieces and I cant help that but cheating on my boyfriend who I love also would never happen. People make mistakes but thats not one of them.
Im sorry but make yourself happy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): move on find someone new.
Hope things go well.
keep us posted :)
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A
male
reader, Qwerty1432 +, writes (30 December 2008):
Qwerty1432 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for the advice, more is welcome, please tell me what you think i should do, thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): If your not happy then its not fair on you! Think about what YOU want and need. Shes moving on to a new carrier and Im affraid shes leaving you behind. Did she ask if you were okay in moving? To be honest I would of broke up with her when she cheated. I think 6 mounths into the relationship is abit too late for "closure". Try to move on. It'l be hard considering you love her but It'l be worth it.
All the best xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): The fact that you are questioning whether u want to be with her or not raises a few concerns. I feel that if u are unsure about anything u need to just stand back and say "ok i am not up to this. i need to be sure about this for this to happen at all." u should be feeling a bit iffy about this situation too as she has cheated on u with her ex, and no it wasnt for closure, she was probably not over him to begin with (sorry but that is probably why) Cheating to me is unforgivable. Kissing drunkenly is even a bit of a toss up between never seeing the person again and full on forgiveness. You are barely into the world and u are finding urself in a situation that requires a lot of adult experiences to make the right call. I think you should call it quits if you are having doubts. If she is not proving herself worthy of you then u are better off without her. There are pleanty of other fish in the sea. Also dealing with a partner that is away all the time u need to think of long distance relationships that have little or no contact at all. Having a long distance relationship with someone over msn who ISNT in a life threatening situation is tough. You have to ask whether u are up for the challenge of loving her when u cannot see her or talk to her for long amounts of time, and can u trust her while she is away. SHe has already cheated on u once, who is to say she wont do it again.
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female
reader, uluvme0723  +, writes (30 December 2008):
 First things first. How can she possibly get closure by sleeping with her ex? That I don't understand. If anything, it keeps the emotions flowing. That I know for a fact. And to answer your question. I think you should move on. I understand that you love her. But in my opinion, I don't think its a healthy relationship to be involved in.
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