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female
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anonymous
writes: Is my relationship with my fiance worth working out? We argue over things like how he refuses to do the dishes. He does cook, and buy the food, but I also do those things, and yet I always do the dishes! We both have jobs, and his pays more, but due to the fighting I moved back to my parents house temporarily (I was only living with my fiance for 3 weeks). We also have very different religious beliefs (I believe in saving myself before marriage even though I've already slipped up a million times with him). I still want to wait, and every time I say that we get in a big fight if I don't just give in and have sex with him. He says I shouldn't go back and forth, but he makes it so difficult by always trying to take my clothes off. He's mad because I've had sex with other boyfriends, so he feels like I should with him. It feels so unfair! He also feels like I should be giving him more affection if I'm taking the sex away from him. I just sometimes feel like I'm never enough and can't make him happy. Those are the reasons I've broken up with him about 7 times in the past 5 months. Should I stay or go?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2007): I think if you're arguing this much before you add in the complications that being married adds then you should let go. Marriage is about give and take and sometimes accepting things that you don't necessarily like, like having to do the dishes all the time. I'm guessing there are a million and one household things that he does all the time and you haven't even noticed and vice versa. The fact that things like the dishes can make you so hostile towards your partner makes me think that the love isn't strong enough to last. As for the sex I imagine it is hard when he's continuously making an issue out of it but it's your body and your decision and it seems that however eager he's being you always have the chance to say no but you choose not to.
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