A
female
age
30-35,
*eannee
writes:I met this guy over the Internet. We started talking and we ended up falling head over hills for eachother. As we started to become more serious we started to be open about our relationship. I told my friends and then my family. My family disapproved of him big time, which made it so hard for me because I felt disrespectful. Anyways, I have NEVER met such a perfect guy in my whole entire life. He treats me so well and shows that he loves me more than anything. But, I got into an incident (I'd rather keep that private) and we lost contact for a few months. Finally we started talking again. We cought up on things. He told me how he lost his virginity to all these girls and it totally broke my heart. He knew I still had feelings for him and I knew he still had feelings for me. But, after I knew all these things about him it made me think so differently of him. He had changed from when we use to talk. He turned into a man whore. But he still didn't fail to show me his undying love for me. We were still in love with each other as if everything had just started beginning. Our love never once drifted apart as the relationship continued. It's been 2 years since we first met. He still had every single picture I sent him and the very first text I have ever sent him. At one point in our relationship, I was getting really depressed because of personal things. I wanted time alone and just to be by myself. While this was happening he left me and went for my sister. After he found out how big of a b**** my sister is he left her and came back to me and of course I took him back. I can't describe how in love I was with him. We haven't been dating for some time but he still tells me how in love he is with me and how miserable he is without me. But I cannot seem to forget what he did. It hurts me so much. I am now with some guy that doesn't know how to be affectionate to me, but I have such strong feelings for the guy I'm now with. But the lack of affection makes me miss my ex much much more. I don't know what I should do. Do I stay with the guy now and hope that maybe he'll start to be more loving? Or should I leave him and go back to my ex and just keep it a secret from my family?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2013): How about doing neither and leaving both of them? Why do you see your options as being limited to just these two?
I think you need to figure out what is missing in you that makes you attach emotionally to men who don't treat you well.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2013): I think you already know how you truly feel about him and what you should do about your relationship with him.
He's absolutely despicable and disrepectful to you and all of the other women he has slept with. Let's remember: if he can cheat or break up with you once (or in this case, several times), then he'll do it again and have no second thoughts about it.
After having flings with these other girls, he automatically goes back to you - not because he loves you - but because you are his security blanket that he knows will always take him back with a clean slate.
You deserve better than this!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 January 2013):
 You've described a repulsive man-whore (your own words), and a second guy with whom you have an intimacy mismatch...
The only question that I can detect is: Why would you want to spend even a minute with either one of them?
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, SouthernAdvice +, writes (4 January 2013):
 You are doing the right thing. Your ex sounds like he liked you but it was just the game chase he was after. He sounded sincere until you said he tried getting with your sister. What kind of guy does that to the girl he "loves". I don't know him but lost all respect for him at that point. As for the guy you are with right now, maybe he has personal self esteem or trust issues. This can come from childhood and he needs someone to show him it is ok to Love. Give him a chance, life is a 2 way street, both of you have to meet each other half way. Sweety, you should give yourself some time to breathe and maybe take some time for yourself. You don't want to be one of those girls who needs a guy to feel complete or be happy.
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (4 January 2013):
 How about neither. If the guy you're with can't give you what you need then you should drop him. At the same time you shouldn't go back to the other guy because, no offense, I think your family might be right. Have you ever heard of the term "blinded by love" ? Well I think that might be what you are doing with your ex. If I had a girl and she went after my brother then I would NEVER think of seeing her again. Not to mention the other things he has done that you wish to keep private. You might be better off being single for a while and working on improving yourself. The good guys will come around later when you are ready.
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