A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a guy for about 2 months. There is something about him I just don't click with. I don't feel the same way with him that I have with other guys I have dated, even in the same time period. He is older than me by 8 years, I'm 21 he is 29. I really don't think that is why I'm not as comfortable with him though, I feel sometimes that our personalities don't click. Like sometimes I think he is so sweet, then other times he is an ass. Like for example sometimes he would do anything for me to be happy. Then like today I was upset and stressed because I don't have the money to pay for all the things I owe and his response was- "If you cared enough you would do something about it."... I mean I never asked him for a dime. Is it so ridiculous to want some kind of reassurance from your boyfriend that everything will be ok? He was such an ass about it even after I explained I didn't want anything from him, just reassurance he is there for me and I'm not alone/on my own. He said I needed a sugar daddy... Which still makes no sense because I never asked for money or even help from him. That is just one example of many times he has been an ass. It's basically how he talks to me in general at times. Although he has his good times too.Anyhow, I have been talking a little bit to a guy I knew from high school. Today I hung out with him for the first time since then. He's more my type I'm sure but I have a lot of reservations about him. And at times when I was hanging out with him I missed my boyfriend then at other times I didn't. I don't know what to do. I'd hate to dump my boyfriend to pursue this other guy and end up not liking him. I have taken a break from my boyfriend also a couple weeks ago and was unable to stay away. I am thinking about continuing to hang out with this other guy while also dating my boyfriend (nothing happening with the other guy of course). I just don't want to leave my boyfriend and then want him back later and he isn't there. So I suppose I want to have my cake and eat it too as the saying goes. I'd rather not hear anything about me being a shitty person or a bitch etc. I'm sure most of you will say to leave the boyfriend and give the other guy a chance. I just don't know. Either option has me upset, leaving him or staying with just him. Any advice?
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female
reader, gcruz +, writes (18 February 2010):
 yea i agree with caring... does it has to be all about being with someone? you cant just date a little while then figure it out. 2 months is really nothing when you think about it and you dont deserve to have someone to make you feel bad so dump the old bastard lol =] not saying that he is old but OLDER jaja
A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (18 February 2010):
 Life holds no guarantees for us! Everything is about risk...if you try to "have your cake, and eat it too," You may wind up the loser! This is just one of those difficult decisions you will have to face in life! Neither one of these guys may be the right one for you.
Build your confidense so you don't fear making it on your own. That includes your finances! When you can stand on your own, then decide who you would want to stand beside you!
In the meantime, if you don't feel good about the relationship you are in, then get out of it. See what develops with the guy from high school...and take it from there!
Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 February 2010):
If you are having problems making a clear choice, it means that neither man is right for you. The first guy who is older seems a bit too callous towards you, whilst this other guy is someone you have reservations about. Maybe you should just spend some time alone for a while and really think about what you really want and just focus on your life. Your Mr Right is out there somewhere.
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