A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a little confused at the moment and would love some input from those of you who've been in long term relationships.I've been with my BF for about 6 months. At first I wasn't sure where I wanted things to go so I never worried about the future and what would happen. Lately I've found that I'm starting to fall for him and that I don't want anyone else.For some stupid reason I had it in my head that he would tell me he loves me on v-day...I don't know what made me think this. Well, he didn't say anything. Ever since then I've been feeling like 'where is this going?'He treats me well, respects me, has made me a part of his family, is planning holidays with me, calls when he says he will call, he's absolutely amazing. But here I am stuck on the fact that he hasn't said the L word. This has made me question where the relationship is headed. I am basically scared that he's in this for the here and now and that there won't be a future. I am scared of getting emotionally involved and getting hurt. I've been hurt too many times and I don't want to go through that again.I know that it's stupid to think that something like him saying he loves me will make everything better...he could say it and not mean it so words are not the be all and end all.I think that I've fallen in love with him but I'm scared of getting in deeper in case he doesn't feel the same. There is no way I can bring myself to tell him that I love him because I don't want to be disappointed if he doesn't feel the same.I know it's only been 6 months and maybe I'm rushing things but I don't want to get hurt. I don't know what to do...this is affecting the way I behave around him and he's noticed it...he's already asked me what's wrong.What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, annalee123  +, writes (18 February 2010):
I wouldn't worry too much as he shows that he cares about you and you should just enjoy what is happening. Also they often say that 'actions speak louder than words'. Some men find it hard to express their feelings also. I have been with my partner for 5 years now and he finds it difficult to tell me he loves me but he buys me cards with the loveliest words which says all that I need to hear, and when he does say he loves me I know he means it. It would be worse if he said he loved you just for the sake of your hearing the words and often you hear of young men telling their girlfriends they love them just to get them into bed.
Just enjoy things and take them step at a time.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): don't worry :) he sounds like he loves you, you're the one who wasn't sure about what happened and didn't care.. he might be cautious of saying it because he could sense your insecurity of the relationship. based off of his actions he seems like a genuine nice guy, i wouldn't let him go just because of what he didn't say. it might be your fault in the end... plus it's only 6 months. he's made you a part of his family, and like you said, you're planning holidays together... that means he's wanting to be with you longer. it will come, he might be waiting for you to say it first, i'd wait a couple months before saying it first though, if he says it before then even more joy!
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