A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I had a really rough weekend, there was this party and it turned up really wrong. Friend invited some boys, there was alcohol and I ended up sleeping with one of them, twice. 30 mins after crying about my boyfriend. He doesn't live in UK, so we only meet few times a year. I broke up with him last monday, and we both felt lonely and sad about it. Especially him, so we got back together on friday. I cheated on him on Saturday (I was really drunk, I know its not an excuse).I need help, should I STAY with my boyfriend even thou it's not fair on him, or should I BREAK UP with him and upset him again?I learned so much from this "experience", I know I want to be with him now, I wont ever let things happen like they did. Please help me. And by the way I wont tell him that I cheated on him. I dont think anyone would like to know that. Thank you in advance
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): Well, you just did a mistake right there, you either tell him the truth or not at all. Now that you've only told him part truths he's never going to trust you again if he finds out because you've decieved him now. So not only have you cheated on him but you lied too?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): Thank you for replying. I told him the truth now. Thanks again.
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A
female
reader, BlondeBabe x +, writes (20 October 2008):
 You have to tell him the total honest truth, if he does find out from someone else and not you then that will be so much worse.
The truth will always get out you cant hind something forever, as it would always be on conscience.
I understand why you letting him deicde, and i agree with that. If you stay together with him you have to be totaly honet and not lie.
I hope everythinh turns out ok!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): I told him I only kissed and touched the other guy. I will let him decide, but he is really outraged and annoyed. I really do regret having done what I did, but thank you for your comment.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): Ok, I understand that you don't want to hurt your boyfriend again, and you don't want him to know what you did because it would hurt him. BUT..what if he somehow finds out and NOT from you? Have you considered that? Think how hurt he will be then. Are you going to be able to live with what you did and it won't eat away at you? How would you feel if the situation were reversed? Would you want to know? Or not know? Don't assume that all people wouldn't want to know, because that's not true. If my husband cheated on me, no matter how much it would hurt, I'd rather know and deal with it. Its called aids, veneral disease, and just plain cheating. I'm not condemning you, but I'm just asking you to consider other points of view. I know he doesn't live close by, and maybe he'll NEVER know what you did, but YOU will. It might be best to come clean with him, sweetie. Of course its going to hurt him, but if you don't tell him and he finds out, he won't trust you any longer. As to whether you stay with him or not, only you know how much you really care for him. And like you said, alcohol really isn't an excuse. Were you so drunk that you really didn't know what you were doing? Or is there a part of you that maybe just doesn't want to be with your boyfriend? Alot to think about! Let us know how you are doing ok? I wish you well.
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