A
female
age
30-35,
*eowjah.
writes:This is very complicated, please help.I'm 16 years old and my boyfriend (Danny) is 17, i live in essex and he lives in manchester, which is 251miles apart, yes long distance. We both handle this distance well, because when we are together, it is like ectasy! we talk everyday and have a healthy relationship, in that sence.We first got together 8 months ago, i was soo happy, i then went to see him for my birthday, but i had to leave on friday. Then saturday night i was out and so was he, when i recived a text saying we need to talk, i dismissed it because i was out and having fun. The next day, He broke up with me, through Facebook! this is what he sent me...please dont ring me tonight, because i know youll be crying, so will i, and i dont know what to say to people when they cry to me right well considering you aint answered me for whatever reason, im going to have to do it on here. your probably shitting yourself now, i know i am..this is probably the worst way of doing it, and this isnt gonna be the most pleasentest thing anyones ever said to you, and it isnt the most easiest thing ive ever said either, and im not very good at stuff like this but i fell like it has to be done, so im just gonna get on with it... we cant be together anymore. i dont want you thinking youve done anything wrong either, because you havent. its no ones fault, its just one of those things.please please please understand where im coming from, you know i love you, more than alot, i know you love me, but its just not how i want it to be with us, i just want to be with you every day, and i just cant, i really want a girlfriend that i can see more often, i thought it might of worked at the start but now i know its just not going to, i cant wait 6 weeks at a time before i can see you again, id just rather wait till were older, living together, seeing eachother everyday and everything like that.i still wanna speak to you and that, i dont want anything to change, just that fact i wont feel guilty flirting now and stuff like that, we can still talk on the phone etc. please just understand..i feel ive just like.. been thinking all night, and i feel that this is the right decision, at least until were older and we know we can be together properly. both have our lives sorted with each other, then we can be together, FOREVER! im so sorry, i love you x x... I then spoke to him on msn, in tears. I felt like my heart had just been ripped out and i couldn't breathe, i didn't understand. One second we were totally in love and happier than ever, the next hes breaking up with me, he then told me that he had cheated on me with a girl called Kirsty, she was a sort of friend of mine, and she had always fancied Danny, he did tell me however that he wasnt with her, and it was just a momentary thing and that he did not dump me for her, so i went mad, as you do. i didnt weat or sleep for a week and made myself very ill. i then snapped out of it and thought "georgia you are pathetic, get a grip" so i did, nbut then one day i saw his facebook, and had the urge to go on it and look through his inbox, i found out he was with her, and got with her the saturday night he cheated on me, i was heartbroken all over again, because i realised everything he said was a lie. Now 3 months on from that, im not hurt anymore and we started speaking again and realised how much we missed eachother, and now were back together. We talk alot more now, abotu our feelings rather than just everyday shit. However, last week, he text kirsty, saying he would cheat on me again and that he wants to go to her bedroom, i found out because kirsty told me. I got very upset. but he said "you think i would ever actually do that to you again ive got you back now i never want to lose you" but its the fact that he said it anyway, it hurts. i dont know what is going through his head but i know he loves me, he doesnt go out anymore and ive forbidden him to speak to her, i have made him delete her facebook msn and myspace. This has made me become controlling and possesive, which is not who i am, i am very easy going and laid back. No matter how much we talk things through i cant get over him cheating on me dumping me for her and then texting her after i forgave him. I love him so much, and i know he loves me to, i dont think he will cheat on me again, he hasnt really got a chance, because he doesnt go out anymore. (thats not down to me, his own decision) Do you think i should stay with him when i cant ever imagine my life without him, but i really dont want to get hurt again?
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broke up, cheated on me, facebook, flirt, heartbroken, I love you, long distance, msn, myspace, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): You shouldnt go back to him i know its hard because i am going through the same thing and i promise u girl you will be better off with out him i know you love him and i love the guy i use to be with and still do but if he is going to do it once he will do it again mine did. The girl he cheated on me with came up pregnant 3 months later he says its not his but i dont know what to beleive he has done lied one time! Dont get yourself in my situation just get out now you will be better off and a whole lot happier once you dont have that worrie about.
A
female
reader, freddo2007  +, writes (8 June 2009):
dont let it get to you to much. your still young and there are more guys out there. he's not going to be the only guy for you. i say get rid of the loser that he is cos no guy who is like that deserves you. even though i dont know you, your young and i bet your a good caring girl and any guy who cheats doesnt deserve you. plus no matter how you are your still worth better then that. just get rid of him and just live life and hang out with your friends for a bit til you meet someone special.
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A
female
reader, yanza +, writes (8 June 2009):
 it sounds like you really do love him alot and you are a really strong person to forgive him in the first place. he loves you but he may be taking you for granted because he knows that you will take him back no matter what since your forgave him once.
make it clear to him that if he did cheat on you agina it would be over for good and stick by what you said, if you contibue to be controlling and possesstive and you already said that is not who you are your relationship may not lat much longer because sooner or later he will start to feel strangled even though it was his choice not to go out anymore, it will somehow turn on you trust me.
just be open with each other and i know its hard to trust him but give him the benefit of the doubt FOR NOW.
but dont let this ruin your relationships being cheated on is hard trust me i know but you can get over it.
i hope this helped and good luck = }
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