A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:k where do i begin... i will make this short with as much descritption as possible... about 5 months ago my boyfriend of 41/2 years admitted that when he was between the ages of 16-19 he let another man give him oral. before this he was an jerk treated me poorly never wanted to work or do much he just slept all day. and me supposedly in love stayed, so anyways after i found this secret out through his cousin not my boyfriend tellling me .. i broke it off , he then begged me to stay... i love this guy so much despite what we have been through he is sweet and could be so loving.. so anyways we stayed together, it was really hard for me to get this gay thing out of my mind but i am slowly getting over it I use to throw it in his face all the time , and i have stopped that .. so since these last 5 months he is a totally different person, he is very loving , sweet treats me like i am the princess of the world which at times is kind of annoying because it seems like he has no mind of his own he waits for me to agree with everything,.. he kind of always has been like that though.. so he worked for like a month and now he doesnt, he does not even look for work and its frusterating me i cant support him and i tell him this it seems as though he is going back to how he used to be .. should i stay with him if he is not making an effort and cause he has put me through to much????what do you think ??sorry if it does not make much sense
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010): It is obvious that he is not putting as much effort into this relationship as you are. There are little things that jumped out at me that you said like "and me supposedly in love stayed", and "its frustrating me". The fact that you know there is a problem in you're relationship proves that you are already smarter than other women in these kinds of relationships where the women end up having to support their boyfriends [financially] and dealing with their attitude. Now the next step is to break up. If he doesnt have a job, and is going back to the way he used to be [which you said was being a jerk to you], then you should break up with him. You have already been smart enough to diagnose the problem now its time to come up with a solution. I hope I have helped and I wish the very best of luck.:]
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (21 August 2010):
 Woah, now I dont think he's gay most likely just a lil experiment that happened back then, or he could have been pressured into that oral with a man. Him being underage and that happening obviously shook his world and is still affecting him now. I suggest he seek counseling so he can get this burden off of his chest. Dont throw it in his face and or judge him, thats a lot for a man to swallow. Instead of thinking about what ur being put through think about what he's been through. He sounds depressed, ashamed, miserable, and like he's giving up all due to this incident that happened. If ur any type of gf and really do love him, u'll encourage him to seek help and go with him because he needs the moral support. Then, once he puts this past him then ur relationship will get better.
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