A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a great guy while working in another city for 3 months and we started a relationship which we continued long distance for the past 6 months. He's wonderful, nothing wrong with him, and I love him but I feel I don't want to be in a LDR. I want to have a relationship with someone I can see and be with and share things with regularly, not just talk on the phone and visit occasionally. I want someone to share my life with. Neither of us can move right now. I don't want to hurt him and he is committed to the relationship and keeps telling me we'll find a way one day. Should I stay or should I go?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 April 2011):
 Do you guys get to see each other now? how often.i doubt i could do an LDR if i could not see my partner often. We started out once a monthwe then said every other weekend.now we are every other weekend is 3 nightsand alternative weekends is one nightbut we are a mere two hour drive apartwe also email/text/skype/talk daily..... (one or more of the above)and we know that while he will re-sign his lease in August for another year1. he can get out of it if needed2. that gives us till August 2012 for a deadline for moving in together. I think that having a deadline for moving in and ending the LDR is critical as is physical contact on a regular basis.
A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (29 March 2011):
 I think you've already answered your question, haven't you? Maybe you would just like a little reassurance, so perhaps I can help. Long distance relationships are VERY difficult. Not impossible..but definitely more frustrating, and not for the type of person who isn't extremely independent and trusting. I have been in a LDR for 8 years, so I know what I'm talking about. They are so hard to maintain because you don't have that closeness that you have with a partner who you can see every day, once a week, ect. I don't care how much you talk on the phone, text, email or use skype and a webcam, its NOT the same thing as being able to hug, kiss or sleep with your honey. If there was ANY other way, I would never be in one. But I love the man I am with so much, and I've never found anyone like him. I don't think I ever would. We are 2000 miles apart, and because he's a doctor..there is very little time to see him. I HATE IT! Neither of us can move at the moment, so we do the LDR thing. I honestly don't recommend it..unless its for a very short period of time. To be honest, its pure hell.We are both in our 40's, I think thats why we might be more tolerant of this situation too.
I hope this helped you in some small way. Good luck whatever you decide.
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