A
female
age
36-40,
*ue88
writes:i'm new to all this. i need an objective opinion. i'm in a complicated and unpopular position. i started to see a married man a year ago. he has kids but not to his wife. they arent happy, hardly ever see each other and havent slept together in over a year. he cheated on her before but was a drunk. he has stopped drinking sobered up and has told his wife to go as he doesn't love her and has to think of the kids. who he has full custody of. the thing is she'll not go. no one in her family has had a divorce and she's not gonna be the 1 to do so. now the mother of the kids who lives far away is now telling his wife everything.i want to walk away as i feel i'm just doing wrong, i no i am, he's married. but we both fell further than we thought. i cant walk away cos i love him and i cant bare to see him hurt. today he cried in my arms, because everything is a mess. he's not a cryer. he just broke down. its killing me to think im doing this to him. but his marrage was over before we started. should i stand by him or let him go. i need help please!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): don't walk...run...
you are more deserving than this...
your soul and intuition has already told what to do...i read it in your question...
A
female
reader, sue88 +, writes (2 January 2008):
sue88 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey thanks but i got 2 replies 1 stay 1 go, i'm still no further forward. thanks for taking the time to answer but any1 with advice you'd be a great help. thanks.
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A
male
reader, dc.ryan +, writes (30 December 2007):
 He is seeking refuge from an unhappy, failing marriage through you - hes already expressed his feelings to her, and said that he isn't interested in her anymore.
I don't think you should walk away (which is rare in this case) - because, by you walking away nothing is going to change for the better; he'll loose another person he loves, and will not have anyone very close to him to turn to (not like he can talk it over with his kids).
From the sounds of things, he definately needs your support (and I wouldn't be blaming your self for his marriatal problems - as he wouldn't of turned to you, if it wasn't already happening) - stand by him, and work together towards a solution.
If hes that unhappy with his marriage, he only has you keep him all there - an needs you every step of the way. Its rare for me to suggest such a thing, but from what you've explained, its important you support him.
Ryan
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2007): Dear Sue
Get out now. he has 2 woman catching him out the wife and mother of his kids of course he gona come crying to you.
You are too young to be lumbering yourself with this crybaby he a grown man let him sort his own problems their not yours, but if you stay with him they will become yours!
Please this guy has many problems you on the other hand have none except him, walk away and don't get yourself mixed up with a guy thats already taken again its a hard lesson but one I hope you learn from.
Good luck
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