A
male
age
36-40,
*rofesssionalSi
writes:Ive been seeing this girl for about almost 2 years now. It all started in school, you know first think she weird, then some how get her number and start texting and become friends lolAnyway this girl has been truly a blessing to me she keeps me out of trouble, always has my back, from losing someone, always motivating me to be better, etc and I can even say I am falling in love with her without a second thought. I would do anything for her, I spoil her ALL THE TIME and i even let her stay/keep her belongings in my apartment. I adore this girl so much that I WAITED almost half a year to actually kiss her(Seriously that a 1st for me even for anyone) because I wanted her to be comfortable with the thought of as a couple we recently started having an intamate relationship.My question--As I mentioned in another question a couple of days ago there are a couple of problems that I feel might keep us from actually being together1 Im 9yr older than her Im turning 31 in July and she's turning 22..now I know she is just a number and I REALLY don't look 31 at all, I feel Im just too old for her2 Her parents mainly her mom has a huge hold her life. She's really nice, Ive had many heart to heart chats with her, I helped them when I could with stuff around the house, helped with her aging mother(my gf grandmother) and she's genuinely nice to me but I don't think she would allow me to date her daughter 3 I hate to even bring this up but the fact that I'm black and she's white somehow comes to mind too..I know, "it's 2015 no one cares about race follow your heart" I tell myself that all the time but let's face it..it's still an issue we live in the suburbs of Central NJ. To describe her she not Mariah Carey(white) she's more like aTaylor Swift(white) when I visit her house i always have to play the friend role..my parents don't care my mom likes her and thinks she perfect for me---what gets me is that she's always with me and I much think they know something is up with us but aren't asking or they are just oblivious.I just want to know if I should just hang in there or start to break things up and let her go find someone her age? It's just that if I let her go all our crazy adventures, the nights we spent in NYC, out cross country road trip(parents still don't know about) etc etc will be for nothing, and no matter how many times she makes my head go crazy I can't help but ways have feeling for her please help thank ??
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male
reader, ProfesssionalSi +, writes (10 June 2015):
ProfesssionalSi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the comments..she doesn't mind the age difference at least I don"t thinks she does we always joke about how Ima 80s baby and she a 90s with all the cartoons, music, celebrities of my time etcI mean I still live almost a carefree life no kids have my own "Bachelor pad" I have a job that pay ok but I'm looking into a different field anyway I just have stop being lazy and hit the books a lot harder!As for the race thing you are right it's her choice BUT her mom has a huge deal on her life(she kinda runs things around the house) her father is real nice and I honestly don't think he cares but her mom is head of the house. She trusts me around her daughter but I don't think she would allow me to date her. Or she will kind of say it's ok but in the back her head its like "oh hell no" BUT I'm not a mind reader so I can't say thatAs for the race issue I understand it shouldn't bother me and I try to look past it but there's nothing that pisses me off is when "whites" stare at us like cmon..for example we went to a Starbucks( I just left work so I'm not rely dressed well) and we were going to a pretty wealthy part of town and i kid you not I told her I wait for her out side.i feel like I have to get "dressed up" just to go get a bite to eat and I would get less stares from people Thanks again for the comments
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 June 2015):
 The only person to decide if you are too old for her is HER.
IF she doesn't think you are too old then you are not. BTW how you LOOK is not the issue. Its how you feel and behave.... I'm 55 to my hubby's 42... but unless we tell someone, no one can tell.
But accept that at 31 you are way more settled than most 22 yr old girls.
As for race relations... it's 2015 and she's 22 does she need her MOTHER'S PERMISSION or approval to date who she wants?
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