A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What began as curiosity, turned into a friendship. I joined a club in college in hopes that I would get to know her an I did. I fell for her while she had a boyfriend and it was hard. We remained friends throughout that, and whether or not she know I liked her then is unknown to me.I was with her before she ended things with her boyfriend, or technically before he ended it in a disrespectful way. Down the line I confessed my feelings for her straight up, even though I knew at the moment a relationship was out of question. She had told me that not that she doesn't like me, but she is not going to have any time for anything but her studies. She moved to another city to study law and I've been doing the same, working a full time job, struggling to stay afloat.Last time I got to see her was during the holidays. We went a date you could say and though it was simple, it was amazing to be with her alone. We talked, laughed, ate and had a memorable time.With her being away, i began to feel like I should try to move on. I've talked to girls, flirted with them in a friendly manner, finding distraction. However, I never feel anything for anything of them. In the end I always think of her smile, her laugh, her randomness, her kindness, and how happy I am when I am with her.Do I love her?I could probably give more detail or explanation but I figured this was long enough.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 June 2015):
 Just remember that love is defined differently for everyone.
And you can love someone and do nothing about it.
I can also assure you that once you truly do love someone you won't have to ask others if you love them... you will know.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would like to add that I am not pursuing a relationship with her. I told her I liked her because I had to. I couldn't keep it to myself any longer. I knew she would be moving away to pursue a law education. Even if a relationship between us did happen, it would be long distance. They never work out and it would make no sense for either of us.
I am not assuming I love her. The only love I ever felt was for my family, never for a significant other. All i know is I feel more for her than any other girl I've met. I've become better since I met her. It's all the little things. I ask others what they feel when they love someone and I look to see if I feel that same way.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 June 2015):
 No, you don't LOVE her. YOU love the IDEA of her. I know sometimes it's pretty hard to "see" the difference, but it's there.
She ISN'T looking for a relationship with you. I DO think she enjoys your company and friendship, BUT NOTHING more. Nothing romance wise.
I DO think you ought to look elsewhere for a GF. And my advice? The moment you find out they have a BF, move on. Because THAT girl is unavailable to YOU.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 June 2015):
I don't think it's LOVE... you like her, you wonder about what would happen...but love... no that takes time to grow.
So now what's your next question? Because "do I love her" seems to be a segue to "should I tell her" or "what should I do"
so she's made it clear that she's focused on her studies... does she think that after getting her degree there is hope?
if so then what do you want to do? IF NOT... if she's made it clear that you are "friend zoned" then you must believe her and respect that.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (10 June 2015):
 She might be debating to focus on her life or to have studies and a reltshp. Back off. Let her initiate interest. You sound weak as all h*** in your question. Love can do that.
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